Thank you in advance for comments on my infomercial script

[Jody Miller]

@negeen-dargahi

Hi Negeen,

I appreciate any and all comments on my infomercial script.

Best, Jody

IF YOU ARE A CoMPANY LEADER, I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU 3 VERY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

ARE ANY OF YOUR EMPLOYEES QUITTING IN 2 YEARS OR LESS?

ARE YOU CONCERNED ABOUT THE PRODUCTIVITY OF YOUR WORKFORCE?

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO REDUCE EMPLOYEE TURNOVER AND INCREASE EMPLOYEE ENGAGEMENT?

IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO EVEN ONE OF THESE QUESTIONS, I KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO HELP YOU.

HI, I’M JODY MILLER, AND I’M KNOWN AS ‘THE WORK HAPPINESS EXPERT.’ WHY?

BECAUSE I’VE HELPED THOUSANDS OF PROFESSIONAL FIND THEIR DREAM JOB AND I’M HELPING COMPANIES LIKE YOU KEEP THEIR WORKFORCE HAPPY, ENGAGED AND PRODUCTIVE.

OVER THE PAST 15 YEARS, I’VE DEVELOPED PROVEN SOLUTIONS, BASED ON SCIENCE AND BEHAVIORAL PSYCHOLOGY, THAT WILL HELP YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHEN AND WHY AN EMPLOYEE IS VEERING OFF TRACK.

BASED ON THIS QUANTITATIVE DATA, I DESIGN CUSTOMIZED WORKSHOPS THAT WILL HELP YOU TURN YOUR WORKFORCE AROUND. YOUR EMPLOYEES WILL LOVE THEIR JOB, FEEL VALUED AND CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR BOTTOM LINE AT LEVELS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN.

I HELP COMPANIES SAVE MONEY AND INCREASE REVENUES THROUGH MY SOLUTIONS, AND I CAN HELP YOU DO THIS TOO.

IF YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE AND SEE IF WE MIGHT BE A GOOD FIT TO WORK TOGETHER, MESSAGE ME ON LINKED IN.

[Anonymous]

This is fantastic @jody-miller!! GREAT job!

[Jody Miller]

Thank you @amanda-Hendrickson

I will record on 11/28 or 11/29 and submit for comments.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[Anonymous]

@jody-miller Sounds great!

[Jody Miller]

@amanda-hendrickson  @negeen-dargahi

Hi there,

Can you please comment on my infomercial?

Best,

Jody

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GugQmFVYLAo

[n d]

HI @jody-miller, I’m unable to view the video. Can you make sure it’s set to either ‘public’ or ‘unlisted’?

Also, make sure that when you click on the video, you are then copying the link.

Same way you would send a link of your LinkedIn profile.

Hope this makes sense. If this issue persists, we can take a look at this on the live call or one of my orientation calls.

[Jody Miller]

Thanks @negeen-dargahi

I made the video public. I didn’t want to appear overly animated, but I can beef up the animation if you think so.

This was recorded inside my sound booth.

Thanks, would like to get it up before I head out of town this Friday.

Jody

watch

[Jody Miller]

@negeen-dargahi

I also loaded one with a blank wall behind me. A little more wordy though….
                            2:16 Watch later                  

 

[Jody Miller]

HI @negeen-dargahi

Just wanted to make sure you were able to view my infomercial.

Thanks,

Jody

[n d]

Hi @jody-miller, I was not. I’m not sure if you’re submitting the link to me correctly.

Double check the video is set to public.

Here’s how to send me a link to the video:

• go to the video, as if you’re going to watch it – when it starts playing, pause the video
• then, copy the URL in the address bar, this will take me directly to your video

Resubmit – thank you!

 

[Jody Miller]

@negeen-dargahi

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUw7EPrKaZmEaq92W9drOKg

 

[Jody Miller]

@negeen-dargahi

i can record again tomorrow if I need to. Thx.

[Jody Miller]

Hi @halle-eavelyn

@nageen

I leave for London and Thailand on Friday so not to bother you, but any feedback would be welcome. I can only record again tomorrow morning.

Best, Jody

[Halle Eavelyn]

@jody-miller, great start!!

 

some script tightening:

Lose the WHOLE FIRST LINE.  Start with questions. You need to engage them right away.  (LOVE the text overlays –  just start it right over the first question)

revise this as follows:

BASED ON THIS DATA, I DESIGN CUSTOMIZED WORKSHOPS THAT WILL HELP YOU TURN YOUR WORKFORCE AROUND. YOUR EMPLOYEES WILL LOVE THEIR JOBs, FEEL VALUED AND CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR BOTTOM LINE AT LEVELS YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN before.

 

Get out of the doorway and stand in front of the light switch.  Better yet, get a better background – something that’s neutral but looks like an office and not a blank wall.

Don’t stand in the middle of the frame – use the rule of thirds and stand on the left or the right, and please stand in front of the light switch!!

Last, get EXCITED!!!  I know how passionate you are about your work – get animated. Let me see some of that excitement. I’m not going to hire you to stand up and be boring in front of my audience. I’m sure you weren’t boring during your Ted talk. Don’t do it here, either.

You’ve got this!!!

[Jody Miller]

@negeen-dargahi

revision. i have to upload before I leave in the morning. can change again when i return, but i like this one.

 

 

[n d]

Hi @jody-miller! Nice job – I can see the video perfectly! Few things:

Let’s remove the headphones, if possible, for your next video.

Check out Halle’s feedback above, if you haven’t already!

 

 

• This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by n d.

[Jody Miller]

@halle-eavelyn @negeen-dargahi

INFOMERCIAL RE-RECORD.

 

OK. I hope this does it. I want to move on to the other modules.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hU3UqN9fE8A<!–more–>

Back from Koh Samui. Such a wonderful time with my daughter.

New book came out today too!

Print version will be out shortly.

Small publishing firm here.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07M8DN3VP/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1545351766&sr=1-1&keywords=the+big+little+book+of+work+happiness

ox

Jody

 

[n d]

Hi @jody-miller! Very happy to hear – how exciting!

You did a great job with your infomercial, clearly you are a natural 😉

I’m very happy with the new script we chose!

Good work!

[Jody Miller]

thank you @negeen-dargahi  On to the next module!

Merry Christmas! 🙂

[Author]

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