Submitting LinkedIn Profile for Review

[Harlow Hagee]

I am a new member and as part of Lesson 2, I am submitting my Linked In profile for review and feedback.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/harlowhagee/

Please review my updated profile and let me know any suggestions to strengthen my profile.  Thanks!

[n d]

Hi there, @harlow-hagee! Thank you so much for your patience while I reviewed your profile. Below are my comments:

A very great profile photo! Your banner image is on the right path but looks very sparse. Your face is also cut off. We have a full time graphic designer who can create something better for you. Please email her and detail your field of work and please have her create something custom for you. This will really help your profile pop!

Headline: I love what you’re doing with your headline but it’s a bit too wordy. I would pick one of those powerful questions and clean it up. Like this:

READY To Sell Your Home To QUALIFIED Buyers For Top Profit? ☆ Expert Realtor Helping Clients In DFW Area☆ Message Me!

About Section:

What you have as your About section is a very good start. I have a few comments:

When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.

This means you should start off by asking 3 powerful and short pain point questions (like the ones you had as your initial headline). Then, you want to lead them into WHAT you do, WHO you help, and WHY they should work with you.

Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized.

Additionally, right now the focus is way too much on YOU and not enough on them. Remember, less resume and more sales letters. I challenge you to replace your “I” with “you”.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is what we look for in a profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Make sure that the only time you’re asking someone to contact, call or email you is at the END with your call to action. You don’t want to break up your strong sale letter with a call to action in the middle **

Please revise and i’d love to take another look 🙂

 

 

[Harlow Hagee]

Hi Negeen,

Thanks for your feedback.  What is the email address for the graphic designer – I would like to work with her on the banner for my profile.

Please send me the email or point me to where I can find it.

Thanks!

Harlow

 

[n d]

Hi there @harlow-hagee! Of course, sorry about that! Below is Lindsey’s email address:

Lindsey@coredm.com 

 

[Harlow Hagee]

Hi Negeen,

Please review my updated Linked In profile.  I do not yet have the new banner from Lindsey but she has emailed me and I have responded with our logo and some photos.

However, I have updated my “Headline” and “About” sections based on your feedback.  Please review these sections and let me know if you have further guidance.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/harlowhagee/

Thanks,

Harlow

[n d]

Hi @harlow-hagee, thank you for submitting. I’m following up on your correspondence with Lindsey – have you gotten a reply yet?

Your headline looks great!

Remove ” Contact me!” from your 3rd pain point question. Remember, any call to action should only be at the very end of your sales letter in order not to interrupt the flow of your message.

Your second paragraph does not hook me – it still seems a bit too focused on you and less on your perfect client.

Check out how I redid this paragraph:

I am an expert in DFW real estate selling more than $10M annually. My last 10 listings all sold above list price netting my clients more than they planned from the sale of their homes. In today’s multiple offer market, I’ve helped many clients find and purchase their next home winning over multiple offers. Do you want to net the most from the sale of your home? Do you want to buy a home winning over other offers?

TO THIS: 

When clients like YOU work with me, you can rest assured knowing that you’re getting the best deal for your home.

Essentially…

My last 10 listings all sold ABOVE list price netting my clients more than they planned from the sale of their home. I bring qualified buyers to your home, each and every time!

My client wanted to make sure they were in the loop the ENTIRE time – that’s something I pride myself on and make sure all the technical details are taken care of in the least amount of time!

//

I want you to see how that absolutely transformed the message. It was less about you and more about THEM. I recommend you read through your About section again and revise some sections that would really help your message flow.

Call to action:

A little too many capitalized words making it difficult to read:

If you’re ready for a next-level real estate experience that meets all of your needs… message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

//

Overall, good work!

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