Revised profile – Su Swanne

[Su Swanne]

 

Please review my revised profile. The photo is what Lindsey created, using my house photo.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/su-swanne/

[n d]

Hi @susan-swanne! NICE work on your profile! Few things:

I really LIKE your background photo BUT the man’s face is blocked by your profile photo. Please email Lindsey back and tell her to move the people’s bodies to the right more so we can see them clearly.

You look great in your profile photo!

The headline looks awesome!

Summary:

Okay let’s go through your 3 pain point questions.

Do you need to LEAVE your long-cherished home and MOVE into a Senior Living Community?

Are you an adult child who feels your parent needs to find a more manageable living situation?

(Su, will people understand what you mean by an adult child? I just think of a graduated college kid staying at their parent’s house for years. You may want to make that sentence more obvious).

Are you CONCERNED that you can NO LONGER care for your home and need another living arrangement?

(I just capitalized on some words but great questions!!)

I challenge you to switch the “i” to “you” – when you’re starting off a sentence. If you can talk a tiny bit more about how you help them, that would be great. Other than that, this looks great, Su!

[Su Swanne]

Hi Negeen,

It seems I missed this response, so sent another request for review. I will ask Lindsey to revise the banner, and I will also look at editing the message.

Thanks, Negeen!

 

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