Review Revised Linkedin Page

[Jim Morgenstern]

Thanks Negeen-Just needed an update on the new site.

my Linkedin URL is :http://www.linkedin.com/in/jimhopkinsmorgenstern. Also can the URL in Linkedin be changed?-It seemed that I tried some choices and Linkedin only gave me this one.  How much freedom is there in selecting a URL?

[n d]

Hi @jim-morgenstern!

WOW, love the new background photo!!

This sentence:

“Want to PREVENT interruption of YOUR your business by FIRE?”

If there’s a fire in on a business property, I bet it will cause MORE than just an interruption. Let’s bring in some ‘fear’ in this sentence. Also, you’re not asking a question here because you said “WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS”.

How about:

I Help Businesses PREVENT Common FIRES.

^ you can fix this if you’d like, but saying a STAT after this would be great. Jim, do you know how many property fires + damage costs there are yearly? That would be a great 1 liner to put after the sentence I just helped you with.

TYPO –> “may even on-site fire equipment.” Were you trying to say “maybe” ?

Everything else looks great!

 

[Author]

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