6 years ago-
Posts
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@negeen-dargahi @kent-littlejohn
I just completed my LinkedIn profile. Could I please get your feedback. Email to Lindsey sent but no reply so far.
Thank you
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@Hi, @nara-rakhmetova GREAT first draft of your profile!! Below is my feedback.
Headline (words under photo)
“Want to Sell Your Home Fast, With ZERO Stress & At Top Dollar? ☆ I’m An EXPERT Online Marketer & Realtor☆ ☞ Message Me!”
This is ALMOST there! Change it to: Want To Sell Your Home Fast &at top dollar, WITHOUT Stress? ☆ EXPERT Online Marketer & Realtor Helping Clients in D.C.☆ ☞ MSG Me!
For your profile, you want to take out “I” as much as possible!
Summary:
There are quite a few typos and grammatical errors here. Make sure you proof-read everything.
Add this before your first line and note the changes I’ve made to it:
WHAT I DO IN 25 WORDS OR LESS:
I take the stress out of home buying or selling process (For now you need to focus on either buying OR selling for LinkedIn, not both) and use the latest technology to save you time and money!
Next, you have 5 pain points listed, let’s narrow that down to your top 3! Good job keeping the lines spaced out! It makes it flow well and easier to read!
Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II” videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.
There’s far too much emphasis in here on YOU and not enough on THEM – these videos will help you see why it’s important to make it so much more about them!
Check out these profiles from previous HECP clients and feel free to copy their format and outline.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/
TAG ME IN YOUR REVISION
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@@nara-rakhmetova feedback above ^^^
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Thank you. I am not sure which errors you see. can you make an example? English is my second language and I am not seeing the errors the way you do. Thanks!
Also, looks like those 2 profiles you sent are identical. Are you saying I can just copy and modify to me and use that format? I am all for it if it’s proven to work with those two agents.
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@amanda-hendrickson
How about this? I am not sure about “stealing” their text but it looks like it was used in both of those profiles so please let me know if this is ok or not. Thank you
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@Hi @nara-rakhmetova NICE job with those quick revisions!
This is NOT stealing, I promise! These methods for LinkedIn are what we recommend to our clients ESPECIALLY realtors. Kent’s profile looks this way as well; check it out:https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
It’s the same format and outline but tailored to you, your area, and your niche!
With that being said, this does look MUCH better!
However, there are still typos and grammatical errors.
For your headline you wrote:
Want To Sell Your Home Fast&at Top Dollar, NO Stress? ☆ EXPERT Online Marketer&Realtor Helping Clients in NOVA☆ ☞MSG Me!
I see that I made the mistake on my last feedback of not putting a space between the & and “a”, sorry about that! put a space there. So it should look like this:
Want To Sell Your Home Fast & At Top Dollar, WITHOUT Stress? ☆ EXPERT Online Marketer & Realtor Helping Clients in NOVA☆ ☞ MSG Me!
“I also understand the power of information: you will receive statistics and buy and sell strategies, and I push to act fast and deliver results for YOU.”
This sentence needs work, it’s confusing and there are way too many “and”. Remember to use one “and” per sentence.
Let’s try: You will receive more information in the form of statistics for buying, and selling strategies; PLUS I push to act fast so I can deliver RESULTS for YOU!
Everything else looks great!
TAG ME IN YOUR REVISION
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@@nara-rakhmetova Oh, I see!
In that case, let’s remove “online marketer” so that it says:
Want To Sell Your Home Fast & At Top Dollar, WITHOUT Stress? ☆ Expert Realtor Helping Clients in NOVA☆ ☞ MSG Me!
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@@nara-rakhmetova Just take that now unnecessary “&” symbol out and you’re GOLDEN!
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