2 years ago-
Posts
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Hi @roger-jarnigan, it was wonderful speaking with you the other day!
Your profile photo and banner image are FANTASTIC. Zoom in a pinch more on the profile photo so we can see your smiling face clearly (since the profile photo circle is so small when messaging people).
Lovely headline – good work on that. Grabbed my attention immediately!
About Section:
Your first paragraph is good, just chunky. Look here at Kent’s outline and i recommend you break up some of your paragraphs so it’s a bit easier to read. Having a good strong flow will really help get your message across.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.
The rest of your sales letter is coming off too focused on you and not enough on them. Try to make it less resume format and complex.
Check out this Realtor profile as an example of speaking to your client directly – sharing WHAT you do, HOW you help, and WHY they should work with you:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/
All in all, great content but a bit complex. Its okay to provide easy-to-understand information on how you help your clients.
You could do without the last paragraph – again, more about them and less about you.
You need a stronger call to action:
If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
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