6 years, 3 months ago-
Posts
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Please review my updated profile. Your comments are appreciated!
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Hi @frederick-braun! Super job on revising your profile! Your background photo looks great as well as your headline. Very attention grabbing and professional.
Below, I just reformatted your summary to better grab your reader’s attention. You can just copy and paste this:
Do you need a Professional Engineer AND Expert Witness with hands-on industrial experience? Someone who has designed, built and commissioned industrial machinery? An expert who is not afraid to get their hands dirty?
If so, I know EXACTLY how to help!
WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:
I help clients understand the root CAUSE of mechanical, electrical, power, process, and control system failures.
Essentially…
As a Professional Engineer with OVER 30 years of expertise in forensic engineering and failure investigations of mechanical, electrical and power systems and their control systems.
******
^ see how much better that flows and keeps your attention? Instead of adding in “i” how about saying sentences like “If YOU are a business professional, with my services, you will get _______”
You really want to keep them engaged throughout!
Great work!
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