Profile for review

[Ed Harris]

Please review my profile: http://linkedin.com/in/ed-harris-realtor

 

thanks!!!

[n d]

Hi there, @ed-harris! It’s so great to have you in the program with us — below are the comments on your profile:

GREAT profile photo!

Your background image needs to better pertain to your business. I’d like you to email our graphic designer, Lindsey, and tell her about your field of work and she will create something custom for you!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline (words under name):

Right now, you only have “realtor” written. Based on the teachings in the program, your headline is the best piece of real estate. Let’s really make it POP! Think back on your Perfect Client exercise* How about filling out this template:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

Or you can use this:

Want Maximum PROFIT From Selling Your Home WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!

About Section:

I really like the story you are creating with your About section. I do want to add that there could be more parts throughout your sales letter that also heavily focuses on how you help them, WHO you work with, and WHY they should work with you. That is equally as important.

I also want you to break up some of the paragraphs so it’s easier to read.

Here is an example from a client in the program who’s profile you can get inspiration from 🙂

https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

Call to action – yours is good but this is more powerful:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions 🙂

 

[Ed Harris]

Thanks Negeen,

Yes, the background image has already been completed by Lindsey and will have it up today.  And yes, I can make headline changes as you suggest.

But I’m confused on the About section.   In my conversations with Halle I was told to use only 2nd person in this script.  I’ve checked out other realtors and I see 1st person used in their About as well as the one you gave me for reference.  What am I missing?

Yes, I will focus on those points you also mentioned in the re-write.

Ed

 

 

[n d]

Hi @ed-harris, my apologies for the late reply. Yes, you will be speaking in 2nd person referring to your audience as “you”.

Does that make sense?

I’m so glad you got in contact with Lindsey. Please let me know if you have any questions 🙂

[Author]

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