Dashboard Forums High End Client Program LinkedIn – Infomercial Reviews & Questions Pls review my script for the infomercial

7 replies, 3 voices Last updated by Anonymous 5 years, 11 months ago
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    • #24274

      Nara Rakhmetova
      Participant
        @nara@nara.realtor

        @amanda-hendrickson, @kent-littlejohn, @negeen-dargahi

         
        <p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>Are you concerned that selling your home will be stressful and time consuming? Want to know how to sell it fast and for the most money? Are you dreading the hassle of preparing your home for too many showings? </p>
        <p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!</p>
        <p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>Hi, I’m Nara and I am a full time Realtor helping clients sell their homes in Northern Virginia for 14 years.</p>
        <p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>I will use latest technology and my extensive experience in real estate marketing to make your home stand out in the crowd and present it to as many buyers as possible to get the highest price possible saving you time and money in the process. (I am struggling to make this into shorter easy to read sentences)</p>
        <p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>If you want to avoid stress and save time while selling your home then message me here to see if we’re a good fit.</p>
         

         

        THANK YOU

      • #24276

        Anonymous
          @

          @nara-rakhmetova It is very hard to read this. When you paste text in this box make sure you FIRST click the button in the toolbar that looks like “T” on a clipboard. Can you do that and repost please :).

        • #24278

          Nara Rakhmetova
          Participant
            @nara@nara.realtor

            @amanda-hendrickson

            Are you concerned that selling your home will be stressful and time consuming? Want to know how to sell it fast and for the most money? Are you dreading the hassle of preparing your home for too many showings?

            If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!

            Hi, I’m Nara and I am a Realtor helping clients sell their homes in Northern Virginia for 14 years.

            I will use latest technology and my extensive experience in real estate marketing to make your home stand out in the crowd and present it to as many buyers as possible to get the highest price saving you time and money in the process. (I am struggling to make this into shorter easy to read sentences)

            If you want to avoid stress and save time while selling your home then message me here to see if we’re a good fit.

          • #24283

            Anonymous
              @

              @nara-rakhmetova Awesome first draft! Love your pain points, they will really capture the attention of your avatar!

              Let’s slightly re-word the end of this sentence:

              “Hi, I’m Nara and I am a Realtor helping clients sell their homes in Northern Virginia for 14 years.”

              Use this: “Hi, I’m Nara, a realtor who has been helping clients sell their homes in Northern Virginia for 14 years.”

              Yes, I agree that sentence needs work. It’s way too long and you’ll be out of breathe saying it all as one sentence lol. Let’s break it up.

              “I will use latest technology and my extensive experience in real estate marketing to make your home stand out in the crowd and present it to as many buyers as possible to get the highest price saving you time and money in the process. ”

              “I use the latest technology and my extensive experience in real estate to make your home stand out in the crowd! I then present it to as many buyers as possible so I can get you the highest price! I save my clients time and money during the home selling process!

              If you want to avoid stress and save time while selling your home then message me here to see if we’re a good fit.”

              How does that sound to you?

            • #24403

              Nara Rakhmetova
              Participant
                @nara@nara.realtor

                @amanda-hendrickson

                Look awesome, I will use it to record the video. Should I post it here for another review?

              • #24410

                Nara Rakhmetova
                Participant
                  @nara@nara.realtor

                  @amanda-hendrickson

                  Here is the video. Any feedback?

                • #24430

                  n d
                  Keymaster
                    @negeen@coredm.com

                    Hi @nara-rakhmetova, I wanted to pop in and let you know that this looks GREAT! Nice job taking action 🙂

                     

                     

                     

                  • #24462

                    Anonymous
                      @

                      Great job @nara-rakhmetova!!

                      This looks great!

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