Please review! Thank you!

[Katherine Ryan]

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kathyryanhomes/

[Cindy Russo]

I’m new but I think your profile looks great!!!! It also sets you apart from other realtors.

Cindy

[Cindy Russo]

For the about, I thought we’re suppose to write it in the first person?

[Katherine Ryan]

@cindy-russo Thank you Cindy…I will change it to first person.  It was something had written up before and changed a teeny bit. 🙂

[n d]

Hi @katherine-ryan, thank you for submitting your profile for the review! I’d be happy to take and look. Below are my comments:

Your banner image looks good! If you ever want to have a custom one from our team, you can email Lindsey our graphic designer and she can also create something for you!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

Your headline is on the right path but a bit wordy. Based on the teachings in the program, your headline is the best piece of real estate. Let’s really make it POP! Think back on your Perfect Client exercise* How about filling out this template:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞Message Me!

^ you could get rid of listing out some of the occupations because you can add that list in your About section.

About Section:

You have some wonderful content but yes I agree that you want to talk in the first or second person.

Also, I’d love for this to be less resume (about you) and more of a sales letter format (how you help your clients).

When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.

Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized 🙂

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with showcasing ways you help your clients.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is what we look for in a profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂

[Katherine Ryan]

@negeen-dargahi I am going to be completely honest.  I cannot write.  I didn’t write the about me section, I paid someone to write that.  So, I am truly stuck here.

[n d]

Hi @katherine-ryan, no worries at all! Here’s what you can do instead… I want you to use Kent Littlejohns About section as a guide. Below I have removed some of his words so that you can easily fill in the blanks.

Here is his profile for reference: https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

//

WHAT I DO IN [ INSERT NUMBER OF WORDS ] WORDS OR LESS.

“I Can Help YOU ______________________________________________”

Essentially…

I allow you to __________________ INSTEAD of __________________.

and

I ___________________________. [ INSERT ANOTHER WAY YOU HELP YOUR CLIENTS OR PROVIDE VALUE]

WHO DO I WORK WITH? ________, ____________, ___________, _____________, _____________, and ________________.

[ INSERT A WAY YOU CAN BRING VALUE OR FULFIL A NEED TO YOUR CLIENT ]

Want an example?

[ INSERT 1-3 SENTENCES WORTH OF AN EXAMPLE ]

I know what you are thinking..

Well [ YOUR NAME ], How much was the [ OFFER ] [ ADD IN PAIN POINT ] ? blah blah blah

How about this answer?

IT WAS [ ANSWER ].

[ INSERT MORE INFORMATION 1-2 SENTENCES ]

Here’s what one client said…

“You have changed my life” [ YOU CAN USE YOUR OWN PERSONAL QUOTE HERE ]

Those are 5 words that I could hear every single day and it will add fuel to our already BLAZING HOT fire. 🙂

What we do is so different from your current ____________________.

This is NOT a plea for MORE business.

This is ME helping you gain COMPLETE control of your freedom and growth.

==> HERE’S THE DISCLOSURE:

If you ________________________…

I CAN’T HELP YOU. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

If you want more [ SERVICE YOU OFFER AND NEED YOU CAN FULFIL ].

SHOOT ME A MESSAGE and let’s chat!

[Katherine Ryan]

@negeen-dargahi how’s this?

WHAT I DO IN 12 WORDS OR LESS.

“I Can Help YOU maximize rewards when buying or selling a home.”

 

Essentially…

I reward you to buy or sell a home INSTEAD of costing you more money.

and

I do this stress free for you with no red tape.

WHO DO I WORK WITH? Law Enforcement, Firefighters, Teachers, Military and Healthcare personnel.

If you are buying or selling a home anyway, why not make more money doing it. I can give that to you.

Want an example?

I helped E.A. sell her home, she is in the medical field, for $50,000 over asking, in contract in 48 hours and they received a rewards check for $4,550 after closing.

I helped J.U. buy a home, he is a firefighter.  We got our first offer accepted, closed in 21 days, and he received a rewards check for $3,150 after closing.

I know what you are thinking..

Well Katherine, what exactly did they have to do to get the reward? blah blah blah

How about this answer? Absolutely nothing.

IT WAS A REWARD.

As a Homes for Heroes affiliate, I reward people that work within the professions listed above so long as they buy or sell a home with me as their agent.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Do you what you would normally do in buying and selling, but use me as your agent and you get a check at the end of the transaction.

Here’s what one client said…

“You have BLESSED us beyond imagination and your dedication and professionalism are unmatched”

Those are 13 words that I could hear every single day and it is MY HONOR to serve you. 🙂

What I do is so different from your current real estate agent.

This is NOT a plea for MORE business.

This is ME helping you get the rewards you so deserve for being so selfless in your area of expertise and just to say thank you. SERVICE DESERVES ITS REWARDS.

==> HERE’S THE DISCLOSURE:

If you don’t need to buy or sell a home…

I CAN’T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

If you want to save more money and actually make money when buying or selling your home and you work in any of the fields listed above….

SHOOT ME A MESSAGE and let’s chat!

[n d]

AMAZING job @katherine-ryan!! You really nailed it on the head and everything looks so much more engaging 🙂 so proud of you!

 

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