please review script

[Barbara Klasic]

Are you thinking about selling your home? Looking for the right person to work with? I’m here to Help! I will work with you to get the price your home deserves! I will work with you to feel confident of your choice and make this transaction as stress less as possible by walking with you every step of the way! Contact me and let’s see if we are a good fit!

Whether you are a first-time buyer or making a move. Contact me so we can find your new home I am here to help. I will provide you with all the needed information and walk you through the process every step of the way, so you can feel confident! Let’s talk, I will listen and help you navigate to find that property that your dreaming of!

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[n d]

Hi @barbara-klasic! A really nice start to your infomercial!

Few things… you have a call to action in the middle of your script and it really breaks up the flow. How about starting your infomercial off asking 3 POWERFUL pain point questions, then I want you to introduce yourself and what you do.

Then I want you to write 3-5 sentences on HOW you help your clients… and at the very end, you can have your call to action.

Please tag me in your revision!

 

[Barbara Klasic]

Are you thinking about selling your home?
Looking for the right person to work with?
Contact me and let’s see if we are a good fit!

Hi I am Barbara Klasic with HomeSmart Realty West I’m here to Help! I will work with you to get the price your home deserves! My goal is for you to feel confident of your choice and make this transaction as stress free as possible. I will be walking with you and working for you every step of the way!

If you are looking to BUY I am here to help find you the house you are dreaming of and make homeownership a reality. I will sit down with you and I will listen to what is important to you and your family and navigate through all the details to find that property that becomes your home. Weather you are a first-time buyer or making a move. Contact me to see if we are a good fit.

[n d]

Hi @barbara-klasic! So much better – take out “Contact me and let’s see if we are a good fit!” from the very top. It just breaks up the flow because you only need it in your call to action at the end, which you already have.

You can also add in your number at the end!

Great work 🙂

 

[Lupe Lloyd]

Hi Negeen,

Please review my Linkedin sight.  I did all it allowed me to do.

When I saw the dmo, it had many more components.  Do I need to

get a Platinum membership for that.  Please review my site and let

me know how it looks and feel gree to make any recommendations.

Here’s the link: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lupe-lloyd-3041081a/

Thanks,

Lupe Lloyd

[n d]

Hi @lupe-lloyd, nice job taking action on your profile! Few things:

You need a professional cover photo that is not a photo of you but an image of your field of business. Please EMAIL our graphic designer, Lindsey, and tell her about your field of work and she will help create a background cover photo for you.

Lindsey@coredm.com

Also, ask her to add a white background to your profile photo (email your profile photo to her) — zoom in more on the image in your LI so we can clearly see your face.

Headline (words under your name) — this needs work and I’d like to you fill this out and add it to that location:
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!
Summary:

(example below)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

You don’t have enough information and I’d like you to refer to those example of what we want your profile to look like!

Feel free to copy Kent’s outline and fill it with your information.

You need a LOT more information on what you do, WHO you help, HOW you can help them and with a powerful call to action at the end –>

If you’re wanting _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______to see if we’re a good fit!

(please tag me in your revision and refer to the example)

[Lupe Lloyd]

Hi Negeen,

I sent Linsey an email and  updated my summary.  I wrote this headline, but have not figured out how to

insirt it.  Please help.  //Want top scores for English learners without the stress? ** Expert Biliteracy Consultant helping clients succeed.  MSG. Me!

These are my 4 Questions:

1.  Great to connect NAME…what’s your core business?
2.  Perfect.  What’s your main focus this year?
3. Love that!  If a had a few simple strategies that would help you accomplish that, would you like me to share those with you?
4. That’s great! Let’s chat for a few minutes.
5. What are a few time windows that you have tomorrow?
6. 2pm workd perfect.  What’s your mobile?
7. Great.  I’ll call you at 2pm
8. Talk soon…Lupe Lloyd

 

Herr’s my link:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/lupe-lloyd-3041081a/

 

[n d]

Hi @lupe-lloyd, please post in the correct forum topic next time!

To make changes to your LinkedIn headline, follow the following steps.

• go to LinkedIn.com
• click on ‘me’ and ‘view profile’
• click on the pencil icon next to your name
• there you can make changes to your headline. Keep in mind it has a 120 character limit

4 questions look great!!

[Author]

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