3 years, 11 months ago-
Posts
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/karendosslns/
I have made some changes, I not there yet. Please review what I have done, I have reached out to the person to help with my background but haven’t heard back yet.
Thank you for your imput.
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Hi @karen-doss, thank you for sending that over!
Your background image, profile photo, and headline, all look fantastic!!
Let’s talk about your About section for a moment. When I begin to read it, it seems to just start off in the middle of something when you’re saying “What my last 5 clients received was awesome” but instead, really value the first 2 sentences of your sales letter.
Instead of that above, let’s reel your readers in by providing some pain point questions and THEN telling them more about your field of work.
How about you ask 3 POWERFUL pain point questions your clients struggle with.
What are their pain points?
“Tired of _____”
“Want _______ but CANT?”
“Are you ______?”
THEN, after you list pain points… you can say:
If you answered YES to those questions… you came to the right place!
Who I Work With: ______ ,_________, _______.
Essentially…
When you work with me, you will be assured that the policy we customize for you will be affordable and will have the insurance needs you require for the future.
[ADD MORE ABOUT HOW YOU HELP and what you do]
Ideally, the more you write the better.
Refer to Kent’s –> https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
Call to action could be better:
If you’re READY for [pain point] then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
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You are so close!! Just a few more tiny tweaks 🙂
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Hi @karen-doss –
Change: “Are you worried at all what the market may do to your retirement?”
To: “Are you worried about what the market may do to your retirement?”
Change: “Do you have any desire to make sure you have lifetime income a paycheck for life or money that would go to your spouse or children when you die?”
To: Do you want to make sure your family is taken care of in case anything happens to you or your job/paycheck?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I have a solution for you.
Essentially…
I offer FULL protection from a down market, help provide lifetime income, AND illumination of fees.
When you work with me, you will be ASSURED that you will get a custom and unique policy that will allow you to be comfortable. It is affordable and will have the insurance needs you require for your future.
I’ve worked with lots of clients who were un-insured and once they worked with me, I was able to get them insured ASAP!
Life-changing!
What with everything that is going on, it brings me joy knowing that my clients are well taken care of — not only with their home policies but with life insurance and auto insurance. Safety and security are a PRIORITY.
If you’re READY to take the next step and protect you and your family in case of the unimaginable, call today and or visit my website for more information at http://www.totalfamilylifeinsurance.com
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Hi @karen-doss, you are doing GREAT!
Good changes on your profile photo and banner image!
Nice headline!
Your about section is also much better. Remove the quotation marks in the first pain point question – this is because the other 2 questions don’t have quotation marks.
After “I offer full protection” why don’t you add a WHO DO I WORK WITH: and try to list off a few individuals that you work with.
Everything looks amazing – once you add that, you are good to go!
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