6 years, 1 month ago-
Posts
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Nageen could you please do a quick look at my new Linedin Page and contencts and give me your thoughts?http://www.linkedin.com/in/jimhopkinsmorgenstern
Thanks
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Hi @jim-morgenstern – happy to provide feedback! Few things to work on:
Great profile photo!!
Background Photo:
This is really INTENSE and LOUD. I want it to look more professional. Please email Lindsey, tell her about your field of business and she will create a better background for you that will really bring some great attention to your profile.
Headline:
This is a really good start! It does need a little more organization. How about using this template below (your headline is really important since it’s the first thing they see when they click on your page).
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!
You could even have:
Are Your PROPERTY And VALUABLES Secured In Case Of A FIRE🔥?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!
Summary:
When you say “WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS” don’t just list it out but really engage with them. Please look at how Kent really leads his readers through his profile. I’d love for you to copy his outline. –> https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:
I help YOU ___________.
Essentially…
When you work with me, you get _______ ________ ______.
Yep. You heard that right!
Did you know ___________?
PREVENT this from ever happening etc etc.
(look how much better that flows)
Also, try to avoid “i” if you can. I challenge you to replace that with “you”.
Jim, you’re really listing a lot of FACTS and I want you to lead them through your sales letter. WHY should they work with you, WHAT IS AT RISK if they don’t?? WHO do you work with??
Again, Kent’s is fantastic to refer to. If you copy his outline and put in your own information, that would really help!
Call To Action:
“Prepare now for a hot summer of fires” sounds a little morbid lol. How about:
If you’re ready to take control of the UNEXPECTED… and have a peace of mind… I want you to message me TODAY to see if we’re a good fit!
Tag me in your revision!!
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