Please review my Raw Content

[Jaime Gomez]

@halle-eavelyn, @negeen-dargahi

I am working in my “Raw Content” can anybody review this story and see if it correct or I need to improve, please

A couple had purchased a home with my assistance in 2004, unfortunately, a few years later the marriage began to deteriorate. Throughout the years the house was never updated. However, the house was in a great location. In 2016 the owner called me to put the house in the Market. Base in their request I work on the CMA (comparable market analysis) at the same time the house next door was investing around 100,000 dollars in updating before they also put out their home in the market. My seller in other hand did not have the money to make any improvement, not even interior paint. I asked my sellers if they would let me update some areas of the house to be competitive with the next door competition to gain more equity as long as they pay me back at closing. In a separate agreement, they agreed. I took the lead to hire a contractor, and I expend $32,000 of my money, and I sold the house with a price very close to the next door property, and my seller’s equity was close to $400,00 after he paid me what the $32,000 that I expend to update his house.

Please see below this is the page I been working on:

Step 2: Gather Your Raw Content *
Think of your LinkedIn summary in terms of these different topics:
*Your most important accomplishments (NOTE – You will want to use specific accomplishments very purposefully! Remember, you are creating a sales letter to your audience… not a bio to get a job):
⇨ Write a sentence for each accomplishment in terms of the value you create/created for your client/customer — let them know what’s in it for them (i.e. “My last 3 coaching clients all yielded 3X in revenue within 90 days” OR “I saved my company $500k in returned products by ensuring customer satisfaction on the front end”).
*Your values and passions:
⇨ Articulate your operating principles and the things that energize you (i.e. optimism, giving back, free time, lifestyle freedoms, family, creativity, etc.). People enjoy connecting with other people who share similar interests and opinions.
*Your superpowers:
⇨ Describe the things you do better than anyone else (i.e. “I can assemble seemingly disparate facts into a cohesive, tangible story” OR “I inspire and engage even the most skeptical client”). Again, note that the examples are written in first person, yet they talk in terms of how you can HELP the prospective client.

[Halle Eavelyn]

@jaime-gomez

Headline:

How about filling out this template and copy and pasting in the headline slot:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

Summary:

There needs to be information and organization to lead them effortlessly through your sales letter.

Please refer to these profiles from other realtors in the program.

Copy the FORMAT/outline and pay attention to the way they lead you through their profile.

They detail HOW they help their clients, WHO they work with, etc.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

You could start your summary off asking 3 short and sweet and POWERFUL pain point questions!

Call To Action:

You need one that is shorter and right to the point. How about this:

If you’re ready for _______ then message me here TODAY on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me in your revision 🙂

[Author]

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