Dashboard › Forums › High End Client Program › LinkedIn – Profile Reviews & Questions › Please Review my LinkedIn Profile
Tagged: Negeen Dargahi
-
AuthorPosts
-
-
August 8, 2018 at 12:09 pm #18971<section id=”vanity-name-editor”><form class=”” method=”POST”>http://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenmehr<button class=”begin-edit” type=”button” aria-label=”Edit” data-tracking-control-name=”pp_edit_vanity_url”></button>@amanda-hendrickson
</form></section>
-
August 8, 2018 at 12:10 pm #18974http://www.linkedin.com/in/<input id=”vanityName-vanityUrlForm” name=”vanityName” type=”text” value=”kristenmehr” />
-
August 8, 2018 at 12:14 pm #18978
Anonymous@Hey @kristen-mehr!
I’m not sure what is happening here with your link. Sometimes when you paste something in the Forums it comes out odd like that. Try posting your link again but before you paste make sure you click the sign on the tool bar (above text box) that looks like the letter “T” on a clipboard. That will allow you to paste what you need.
-
August 8, 2018 at 6:14 pm #19044
Here is the linkedIn profile again…hopefully it will work…
-
August 8, 2018 at 7:06 pm #19058
Hi @kristen-mehr! Nice work taking action on your profile! Few things:
Great profile photo and background photo!!
Headline:
On the right path, but let’s take out your phone number, it only belongs at the END of your summary with the call to action. I revised your headline below so it looks better (fix the location if needed):
Want To SELL Your Home In 45 Days Or LESS Without Stress?☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Atlanta☞MSG Me!
Summary:
Please remove the ALL CAPS in your summary, its way too loud and difficult to read.
I feel you should find a more powerful pain point question, I feel that “Do you wondering what the worth is in hiring a Realtor when selling your house?” could be better.
Feel free to get inspiration from these profiles from other realtors:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/^ fix your introduction
You could start off the same way they do ^
You’ve got good content, but the caps really really makes it hard to want to read. Can you fix that and then tag me so I can take another look?
Call to action:
This could also be better. How about:
If you’re ready for ________ then call me TODAY at _____ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Tag me in your revision please!
-
August 9, 2018 at 3:24 pm #19150
Made changes. Thanks for the support @negeen-dargahi
-
August 9, 2018 at 6:29 pm #19167
Hi @kristen-mehr!
Great job revising your headline, looks so much better!
I really don’t like this paragraph:
Do you wondering what the worth is in hiring a Realtor when selling your house? I DO… when they are THE WRONG ONE. However, when you hire THE RIGHT ONE you will sell your home up to 31 days faster for over 3.5% more net profit.
Instead try:
What I Do In A Few Words:
I help clients like YOU _________.
Essentially…
With my proven system, I help create a fully customized plan to __________.
YES. You read that right!
(2-5 sentences on HOW you help etc etc.) ^ see how that flows better? Refer to the examples.
Did you watch the benefits video I provided in my intial feedback? It’s helpful because when you talk about “MY BELIEFS” it’s a lot of “i” and people don’t care. They want to know about how you can help THEM. So I challenge you to redo that and switch “i” with “you”
It could be:
How You Will Be Served:
or
What My Clients Get:
Everything else looks great 🙂
-
August 9, 2018 at 7:38 pm #19199
I did look at those and other people’s profiles…It this version any better? At this point everything sounds so corny…I am leaning in as much as I can… @negeen-dargahi
-
August 10, 2018 at 12:54 pm #19260
Hi @kristen-mehr, absolutely and thank you for sharing your concerns. So, below I’ve basically re-organized your entire summary. It was just very scattered because if you tell them 1 sentence of what you do then provide an example and THEN tell them who you work with and what you do and then the call to action… there is zero flow. I just want to make sure it’s perfect. So, if you like the below, please copy and paste it in your summary slot.
—
WHAT DO I DO IN REAL ESTATE IN 10 WORDS OR LESS?
I put more money in YOUR pocket in less time.
Essentially…
My clients receive 3.5% MORE money for their home for an average of 31 days.
YES, you read that right.
When we work together, you are partnering with a down-to-earth professional who values your time, is a market EXPERT and, selects clients carefully to ensure a perfect partnership and a successful transaction.
WHO DO I WORK WITH?
Successful professionals in greater Atlanta who want to sell their house in record time for top dollar. I also work with those who did not have the best experience with their 1st Realtor!WHAT’S BETTER?
One client had a 1.1 MILLION DOLLAR property in Brookhaven, GA and had had three agents list his home over the course of three years.
I then listed his home.
We SOLD his home for FULL PRICE IN TWO DAYS WITH THREE OFFERS!
No lie.
HOW CAN THIS BE POSSIBLE?
Because I am a go-getter who is fearless in protecting your greatest asset. And, I am second to none in the marketing & negotiating process.So, this is not a plea for more business.
This is an invitation to allow me to lead the way in the successful sale of your home while allowing you peace of mind during the process.
ONE OF MY CLIENTS SAID:
“I had one agent for 6 months and he showed my property 4 times with no offers. I was skeptical about Kristen’s strategy but nothing else seemed to be working. Low and behold, Kristen listed my home and she had 31 showings and SOLD it for full price, enough said.”
Sounds great, right?
If you’re READY for a successful and stress-free free real estate transaction then call me TODAY at 404.991.0055 or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit! You will be glad you connected!
-
August 10, 2018 at 1:02 pm #19265
So so so awesome! We are complete and it is posted. Yay…now I am ready to reach out….nervous…here we go….
-
-
AuthorPosts
Support Forums are being phased out. You can still view the existing Forum posts but can no longer post in them. For all Support needs, please email help@coredm.com or click the blue Question Mark icon in the lower right hand corner of your screen.