2 years, 6 months ago-
Posts
-
-
-
Hi there, @brandon-byrne! It’s wonderful to have you here in the program with us! Below are my comments:
Your profile photo looks great – please zoom in 50% more so people are able to see your face clearly.
Your background banner image could have more personality – right now, your logos are cut off by your profile photo. Send those over to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and she can fix that for you. Please also tell her your field of work and she will create a custom banner image that pops!
Headline (words under name):
Looks GREAT!!!
About Section:
I like how you’re starting off your sales letter asking pain point questions.
Your testimonials are a bit long and wordy – I would recommend shortening them up a bit. 1-3 sentences.
Your profile could definitely use a bit more information to convey: what you do, who you work with, how you help your clients, and why they should work with you. You do ANSWER all of those, but I feel like you could elaborate a bit more for your sales letter.
Also, make sure “Shoot me your email address and I’ll add you to my weekly email” any call to action is at the very very end of your message.
Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
Here is what we look for in a profile:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/
Call to action:
If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂
-
Ok I changed it up. Please take another look. I sent an email to Lindsey for help. I appreciate your feedback. Thanks
-
Hi @brandon-byrne! You got it.
Please put a comma after “call,” in your headline.
I love your energy, but in my opinion, I would remove “anything your little heart desires” from this sentence.
“I allow you to focus on life, your family, your children, your golf game or anything your little heart desires”
How about something like this instead:
“You can rest assured that I’m taking care of everything on the back end, allowing you to save valuable time for you to focus on other things!”
^ you can of course tweak this but it’s just an example. I found that “Little heart desires” wouldn’t be taken as positively to some.
Everything else looks SUPER! Nice work, Brandon!
After these changes, you’re good to move on!
-
Ok thx @negeen-dargahi
-
Support Forums are being phased out. You can still view the existing Forum posts but can no longer post in them. For all Support needs, please email help@coredm.com or click the blue Question Mark icon in the lower right hand corner of your screen.