Please review my infomercial

[Jimmy Pyka]

I don’t know if this is the right idea or if there is a template that I am supposed to use for this as well.

Let me know
Thanks.

 

Do you think a stress free real estate transaction is a contradiction in terms. Well, it doesn’t have to be complicated or mysterious. Is it possible to actually even enjoy the process? There are many facets that go along with a transaction so is it possible that you can stay in the drivers seat and never feel anxiety about what will happen next and then how to navigate your way through? Is it possible to stay a few steps ahead and have total understanding of what may present itself? Yes and Yes! In working with my clients I not only always communicate with my clients but I answer my phone and am accessible in the event of even when something unexpected happens. If you want someone that you can count on to not only keep you abreast of the different steps of the process but will keep communication open feel free to contact me at 214.680.8584 to see not only if we would be a good fit to work together but a team destined to win together.

[n d]

Hi @jimmy-pyka! NICE job taking massive imperfeCT action on your infomercial!

Yes, we absolutely have a template and I’d like you to fill it out.

With that being said, you’ve got some good information in there… but there needs to be better organization and information on who you are, what you do, who you work with, how you help, etc.

Follow this template below and tag me in your revision:

Template:

How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…

Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?
Want __________?

(after you ask 3 questions)

If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!

Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.

(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)

(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)

If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.

 

[Jimmy Pyka]

Is this more what you are thinking.
I really like more of the Dale Swanson’s short video without a whole lot of dialogue that is more visual and again is a real short 15-20 sec vid but I will defer to what you are saying is the preferred and tested template.

 
<p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>Are you WANTING a real estate transaction without all the stress?
Do you NEED someone that you can trust?
Want confidence that you are in good hands?</p>
<p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!</p>
<p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; orphans: 2; widows: 2; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-color: initial; word-spacing: 0px; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>Hi, I’m Jimmy Pyka and I am a Real Estate Professional helping clients find their dream home.

The reality is you need someone that has a network of vetted vendors whether that be regarding your mortgage needs, what to be aware of during the option /due diligence period and everything involved during a transaction so that there are no surprises. I understand that there are a lot of unknowns and potentially unpredictable aspects of the transaction but these will be addressed up front, so you know what to expect and how to handle different scenarios.
My clients have often told me that I took the scary out of the process and made it a very enjoyable journey not to mention they appreciated that I answered my phone and always made them a priority.</p>
<p style=”background: white; vertical-align: baseline; margin: 0in 0in .25in 0in;”>If you want walk through that same stress-free experience then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.</p>

[n d]

Hi @jimmy-pyka, NICE work! Next time you copy and paste, if you look at the tool bar above, click on the “toolbar toggle” and then click on the clipboard with a T on it so you can paste without all the funky symbols popping up.

I like everything above your “Hi I’m Jimmy, etc etc”

When you get to the rest of the infomercial:

“The reality is you need someone…”

It falls VERY flat. I want you to be ALPHA. Try:

“When you work with ME, I guarantee your home will ________. If you’re TIRED of ________, I make sure that clients that work with me get ________. YEP. You heard that right. Take out the fear of _______ and work with someone who KNOWS the market and ________. What’s better? We

And then you can close with your call to action!

Does that make sense? Do you understand why I wrote it like that above??

Super proud of your revision! You are so close 🙂

• This reply was modified 6 years, 1 month ago by n d.

[Jimmy Pyka]

·         Are you WANTING a real estate transaction without all the stress?

·         Do you NEED someone that you can trust?

·         WANT confidence that you are in good hands?

If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
Hi, I’m Jimmy Pyka and I am a Real Estate Professional helping clients find their dream home.

 

“When you work with ME, I guarantee finding your dream home, If you’re TIRED of wondering what’s going on or you need more communication and updating, that is essential and that’s what I do.  I make sure that clients that work with me get great oversight and instruction. YEP. You heard that right. Take out the fear of searching for and transacting your dream home and work with someone who KNOWS the market and how to help you navigate through the process from pre-approval to closing. I take out the fear and provide you with the confidence you need to know you are in control.

If you think everyone deserves to walk through that same stress-free experience then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.[jp1]

[jp1]

[n d]

Hi @jimmy-pyka, NICE work on this!

Let’s revise this sentence –>

“When you work with ME, I guarantee finding your dream home, If you’re TIRED of wondering what’s going on or you need more communication and updating, that is essential and that’s what I do

To something a little more clear – you have a LOT of run on sentences:

“When you work with ME, you are guaranteed to finding your ideal home. Not only will you be shown properties as soon as they’re available… I make sure to keep you in the loop every step of the way!!”

So, the rest of your paragraph is good but please fix the run on sentences.

Call to action:

I don’t like what you have. You want to keep it alpha and make them want to message you right away.

How about:

If you’re ready to see the home that checks off all your boxes…then shoot me a message TODAY to see if we’d be a good fit!

[Jimmy Pyka]

Well… now that you have essentially written (re-written) this, I guess it’s ready… right? Ha

• Are you WANTING a real estate transaction without all the stress?
• Do you NEED someone that you can trust?
• WANT confidence that you are in good hands?

  If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
  Hi, I’m Jimmy Pyka and I am a Real Estate Professional helping clients find their dream home.

“When you work with ME, you are guaranteed to finding your ideal home. Not only will you be shown properties as soon as they’re available… I make sure to keep you in the loop every step of the way!!”I make sure that clients that work with me get great oversight and instruction. YEP. You heard that right. Take out the uncertainty of searching for and transacting your dream home and work with someone who KNOWS the market and how to help you navigate through the process from pre-approval to closing. I take out the fear and provide you with the confidence you need to know you are in control.

If you’re ready to see the home that checks off all your boxes…then shoot me a message TODAY to see if we’d be a good fit!

[n d]

Hi @jimmy-pyka! LOL so true but you did awesome on this revision!! I read back on your first post and this looks SO much better.

Woohoo!

If you have questions about filming your infomercial:

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “VIDEO TIPS” in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

[Author]

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