Moved: Reply To: Linkedin Profile

[Amanda Crowther]

HI. Please review my profile. Thanks very much . https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanda-crowther/

[n d]

Hi, @amanda-crowther! Please make a NEW post next time. I moved this one as a new post but in the future, try not to request feedback on someone else’s post – this helps us get to yours faster 🙂

Below is my feedback:

Great profile photo!!

Background Photo: 

What you currently have is O-K. I’d love something more personalized.

I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something for you to use!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

This is the best piece of ‘real estate’ on your LinkedIn profile. Let’s really make it POP. How about something like this…

Ready To SELL Your Rental Property AS IS Without Stress?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ MSG Me!

Summary:

Super job on your summary!!

Add some spaces to the paragraph after “essentially…”

Write out “and” instead of having “&”

I want you to either talk to BROKERS or PROPERTY owners. Not both. Your sales letter will be stronger if you speak to one group directly.

Everything else looks great – please make those changes and tag me to take a look 🙂

 

 

 

[Amanda Crowther]

@negeen-dargahi

Thanks very much Nageen for your suggestions!

Yes I’m sorry!!  I did try to create a new post but I couldn’t. There’s no option to do so.  I sent my issue to your tech services yesterday, but haven’t heard back yet.

I’ve adjusted the headline. I’m not sure how to tackle the location though as we buy in different cities across the country so I didn’t add a location.  I hope it’s not too cheeky

Yes thanks. I realized afterwards that I was targeting both property owners and brokers in my summary, so I went back and changed it to only be focused on brokers. My revised headline reflects that

I change the “&”  to “and” as requested. Originally I was having a hard time getting it under 2,000 characters, so I was trying find short cuts 🙂

You can see the changes here:  linkedin.com/in/amanda-crowther

Re: Background image. I used that image because it’s the one we had created for all our social media sites, so there is consistency throughout. But I will contact Lindsey as you suggested.

Thanks a bunch!….Amanda

[n d]

Hi @amanda-crowther! Super job implementing the feedback!

I do agree your headline needs a little more improvement. Below I’ve re-written it – just copy and paste this in the slot:

Want To SELL A Multifamily Property With Ease?☆EXPERT Broker Helping Clients Gain Top-Profit☆☞ MSG Me!

^ you can, of course, tweak this if you’d like!

Summary:

Take out “we” from “WHAT WE DO IN 8 WORDS” — it seems less personal, I would also instead have “WHAT I DO IN 8 WORDS OR LESS” and remove the stars on the sides.

There’s also a HUGE gap after “essentially” make sure to backspace and get rid of the extra space.

I do not like you talking about “we” and about yourself, essentially. You want to make it about THEM from the very beginning.

Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

There’s far too much emphasis in here on YOU and not enough on THEM – these videos will help you see why it’s important to make it so much more about them!

—

I even recommend copying Kent’s profile and adding in your own information. This can really help with your sales letter –> https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Everything else, like your closing statements, look GREAT!!

Hope this helps and I also look forward to seeing the background Lindsey creates for you 🙂

 

 

[Amanda Crowther]

@negeen-dargahi

HI Nageen! Thanks for your quick reply. I hop you had a great weekend.

Re: The Headline: Your headline suggestion below sounds great but I am not a broker. My task is to find brokers who will sell me properties..not the other way around.  it’s hard to hit their pain point, when I am the one with the pain point. LOL

Want To SELL A Multifamily Property With Ease?☆EXPERT Broker Helping Clients Gain Top-Profit☆☞ MSG Me!

How about …..

Trouble SELLING a Multifamily Property? ☆ Super! I want to BUY it! ☆ MSG Me!

REl The Profile:   Nageen, I”m a little confused.  I will certainly review the Benefits Marketing video and apply it to my profile. ( I think it would be beneficial  to include this video in the Mindset module especially if it helps us write our profiles.)

I did use Kent’s profile as a guide as you suggested in a previous message.   His is  full of “I” and “we” statements. Perhaps I am missing something?  I understand the focus needs to shift to the readers. Would you have another example of a profile that I could use as a reference?

Thanks a bunch!…Amanda

 

 

[n d]

Hi @amanda-crowther!

Oh, you’re totally right – thank you for clarifying! I must have missed that.

YES – good headline!

Did you already make the changes on the “i” in your profile? I suggest this when a lot of the sentences start with “i” but I do see now that Kent does use them too. Hm, stick to what you have and we can move on but please fix the big gap in your summary.

Thank you!

[Amanda Crowther]

@negeen-dargahi

Thanks Negeen.

OK. I reworked my profile verbiage and switched it to be more in the second person as requested. I think it works well. I have kept my old version on my LinkedIn Profile for now, until I get the green light from you that this new version is better. Let me know what you think.

Thanks and have a fabulous evening!

Next revision of profile:

WHAT I DO IN 8 WORDS OR LESS

I buy multi-family properties in strong performing markets!

Essentially… If you are selling multi-family properties in emerging metros of the United States and Canada, then we need to talk.

Southeastern United states is our target market but we will look at properties elsewhere.  I’m a real estate syndicator so, I go where the returns are for my investors.

If you want to work with like-minded real estate professionals to ensure all parties leave the acquisition’s negotiations with a win-win scenario, then I can help you.

I work with BROKERS and WHOLESALERS!  What do YOU desire as a broker or wholesaler?

You want to build strong, trust worthy and mutually beneficial relationship in this industry so we can all succeed right?   SO DO I!

If you have a multi-family property for sale, then contact me!  I have a great power team working with me and we can close deals!   👨‍👨‍👦‍👦

If you have property listings with 25 – 125 doors, connect with me!  I will buy smaller or larger assets IF the numbers work.  Got a great value add or repositioning opportunity that can give investors the numbers the returns they crave? Then tell me about it!

I know what you are thinking!

What’s in it for YOU?

How about this answer?

A solid working relationship will permit us to consistently do deals together and provide a win-win scenario for us both. You and I do not do a deal if it doesn’t work for YOU!  It’s that simple.

So let’s build a lasting relationship and do some deals together! I have a strong work ethic and fight hard to do what’s needed. 👍

 

==>     HERE’S THE DISCLOSURE:

If you think your clients will have a hard time selling their multifamily property because of its current condition or issues…. don’t.  WE CAN HELP YOU. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You’ve got nothing to lose but A LOT to gain. We should work together.

SHOOT ME A MESSAGE and let’s chat!  ✉

 

[n d]

Hi, @amanda-crowther!! NICE work on this!!

One thing:

This sentence below is really awkward at the beginning of your summary, especially when you’re trying to get them to keep reading. Consider removing it or placing it where you speak about who you work with. Again, you can remove this:

“Southeastern United states is our target market but we will look at properties elsewhere.  I’m a real estate syndicator so, I go where the returns are for my investors.”

Everything else looks great 🙂

 

 

[Amanda Crowther]

Excellent point. I took out the syndication part.  Thanks again @negeen-dargahi. You comments were very constructive.

Much appreciated.  🙂

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