3 years, 11 months ago-
Posts
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Sharon Jebavy Profile Review
Please review my profile @negeen-dargahi
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Hi @sharon-jebavy, welcome to the program and great job taking action on your LinkedIn profile! I’m so happy to be providing you feedback:
Your current profile photo is good – please zoom in more. so your head isn’t cut off and we can see more of your face and less of your body.
I don’t like the green colors behind your profile photo – please email the photo to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and have her add a white background for you to make it stand out.
You need a banner image (the blue banner behind your photo). I’d also like you to email Lindsey, and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better!
Headline:
Good headline but remove your phone number – just put MSG me! Here is another option you can use:
Want Maximum PROFIT From Selling Your Home WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!
About section:
I really like the information you’ve written in your About section but a lot of the focus is predominantly on you and not enough on them. There’s also a lot of educating – keep in mind that this is a sales letter. By that I mean, you want to replace “I” with “you”.
Such as: “When YOU work with me, you get ______________.”
Instead of: “I know how to do xyz and I did _______.”
You HAVE the information, it just needs to be better organized 🙂
TIP: here is a realtor’s profile that is in the program, you can use her outline (we teach it in the program) or use it to restructure your profile content.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/tarapedraz/
CALL TO ACTION – you need a better one.
If you’re READY for _______ message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂
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Thank you Nageen! I knew the photo issues and am working on them. My son is a Photoshop artist! If he hasn’t produced very soon I will turn to Lindsey…I promise! I own a 5734 SF house and was planning to use a picture of it as my banner with my logo on it. Do you think I should abandon that idea and go straight to Lindsey?
I allowed myself to use “I” a lot because that was the instruction that came through to me from one of the starting videos. The speaker said the summary was the place where that was allowed and wasn’t a bad thing. Oops! I have gone over the summary several times, changing and tweaking it.
While I appreciate your offering the link example the Realtor in Canada uses, I have a very difficult time with it… I suppose because I KNOW the industry and KNOW there is no way the promises she makes are totally honest. I want to always present myself as DIFFERENT from other Realtors and I believe my business model is in a category by itself and not many can compete with.
I will keep on keeping on tweaking my linkedin until you are happy with it. Thank you so much!
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Nageen…I blew it! I forgot to give you my profile link…i also went back and tweaked some more and my son is working on the picture we cal GreenMom, making the background white and getting it better positioned per your suggestion.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sharon-jebavy-a99661178/
Thank you!
Sharon
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Hi @sharon-jebavy! Thanks for sending your comments over – I definitely want to make sure you’re comfortable with your sales letter but I did also want you to see how the Realtor profile looked so you could use it to better guide your own sales letter.
You can definitely give it a go with the banner and send it to me to approve, if it isn’t up to par, I’ll instruct you to email Lindsey 🙂
I’m glad your son is helping with your profile photo – perfect!
Headline:
It seems like this could be better. How about this:
Want $1,500 Up Front When Selling Your Property To Qualified Buyers? ☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Ohio☆☞MSG Me!
About:
Sharon, right now your sales letter is bits and pieces and way too much educating.
Start your About section off by asking 3 short and sweet pain point questions…
Want ______?
Do you NEED _____ but don’t know where to begin?
Are you ______?
and then say:
If that sounds like you, you came to the RIGHT person!
When you work with me…
You can rest assured _____________.
Essentially…
I work with _________.
(detail how you help clients but not TOO intensely)
Check out Kent’s profile — this is another great example to see what it should somewhat look like:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
You still need to fix your call to action – especially by removing ” I am available literally any time” because instead you could say “I make sure I’m available 24/7 for you” if you really are trying to convey that.
Call to action:
If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
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Nageen, I emailed my response to you. I copies it and tried to paste it here but this program would not allow it.
In addition to my email I will go check out my Call to Action.
I am stymied on what to do with my summary. If I can’t make it about me and my accomplishments and I can’t use it to educate the sellers…..what else is there?
Thank you so much for your help.
Struggling,
Sharon Jebavy
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Hi @sharon-jebavy – thank you, I saw your email and am responding to you right now on there.
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I have worked on the summary again. Be brutal…I want to get this right. I may need to take more “I’s” out. I think I am getting the hang…simplify!
I appreciate your help so much!
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Nageen, I got my revised picture up online. Right under my picture it says “Columbus, Ohio.”
But I list all over Ohio! I need this to say something like “Ohio” or “State of Ohio” or something that won’t limit me in the people I can reach! This is very frustrating. HOW can I change this and know linkedin won’t interfear?
Thank you SO HUGELY much!
Sharon Jebavy
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Hi @sharon-jebavy, having the location will not limit you – don’t worry! Everyone has their location below their headline showing.
Did your son create the background photo for you?? If not – please email Lindsey.
Everything else looks a lot better!! 🙂
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Also need to know where I can get some assistance with “emoji” and ways to make my profile stand out a bit more.
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@shaun-mccandless – its seems you figured this out 🙂
Let me know if you have other questions!
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