LinkedIn Infomercial Script for Neil McGlone

[Neil McGlone]

Please see attached first draft for review and comment.

Thanks much!

Neil

Attachments:

You must be logged in to access attached files.

[n d]

Hi @neil-mcglone! This is a really great start on your infomercial. You have loads of good content… it just needs to be better organized. Below is a fun template you can fill out. I challenge you to replace “i” with “you” to keep it about them

—

Are you WANTING _________?

Do you NEED __________?

Want __________?

(after you ask 3 questions)

If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!

Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.

(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)

(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)

If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.

TAG ME IN YOUR REVISION 🙂

[Neil McGlone]

Hello Negeen!

Here is a revised script based on your initial feedback Thanks for your help!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to access attached files.

[n d]

Hi @neil-mcglone!

Much better! I want to ask you though, why do people mainly sign up for LegalShield and IDShield? Is it because they fear their identity will be stolen? Do they want to prepare for the unfortunate day they need legal assistance (which is expensive)?

When you ask your questions… have you pain point questions REALLY DIVE DEEP into your perfect client. Why would they even be interested to sign up??

Instead of:

Are you looking for new voluntary benefits that attract and retain top talent?
Do you need to reduce the risk of expected and unexpected legal and identity theft issues?
What if these benefits could improve productivity, reduce absenteeism and impact your bottom line – at no direct cost to the company?!

How about some like:

Let me ask you… how prepared are you if tonight while you’re sleeping… your identity gets STOLEN.

Are your employees PROTECTED incase of ________?

What happens if you find yourself in a legal bind… do you _____?

^ let me know what you think of those. I personally think it grabs your attention more.

Next…

When you say:

“With a LegalShield membership, a small monthly fee helps address…”

You lost me there. Especially because you are already asking me to consider a small monthly fee.

Instead, tell me about what YOU do for ME (with the benefit of LS).

I’d love to read something like:

“When you work with me… you can find COMFORT knowing all of your information is protected with LegalShields _________. Why waste thousands of dollars on _________ and lose precious sleep over ______ when you can easily set up LegalShield and IDShield in a few short minutes.

My clients get ______________.

Sounds great, right?

IT IS!

***

Just an example of how much better you can give your information rather than listing out all this information about LS.

Hope this helps, I’d love to know your thoughts 🙂

[Neil McGlone]

Yes, Negeen — it is great! But it’s a question of whose pain point I’m trying to address — the HR or C-level exec who cares about better productivity and employee engagement, bottom line impact, etc?

Or should I be addressing the employee who’s opting in to LegalShield and IDShield protection — and all they personal benefits they provide. Your approach is easier to write and articulate, but the employees do not determine if the company offers the benefits. Should I be talking to both clients?

Thanks — Neil

[n d]

Hi @neil-mcglone, very good question!!

I recommend focusing on one set of people you want to target.

You could even make one infomercial speaking directly to HR and one for the C-Level exec (or whoever is part of your target).

I feel that would be most beneficial.

For instance, if you were a realtor helping both buyers AND sellers, we would advise you to only talk to either buyers OR sellers. Not both. This is so you are speaking directly to an audience, instead of mixing your message and addressing more than one.

Hope this helps you gain some clarity, please let me know if you need any further assistance 🙂

 

[Neil McGlone]

Good afternoon Negeen:

The attached revised video script is targeted to HR and C-level decision makers whose pain points include cost, productivity, and strategic, operational excellence. These are the folks who specify and approve employee benefits.

As you suggested, I’ll develop another script that focuses on the employee/consumer, as they decide whether or not to protect themselves and their families — and may post both of them on my profile page.

Thanks for your inputs to date — and I hope you’ll agree that this version is it!

Attachments:

You must be logged in to access attached files.

[n d]

Hi @neil-mcglone!! You did such a great job on this! While this is good to go… I want you to consider taking out the following to not only shorten your message but to really get them wanting to call you to find out more:

“With a LegalShield membership, employees opt-in for about $1 a day fee to address a variety of common legal events – with uncommon service from attorneys who have an average 22 years of experience.”

^ I really do feel like you’ll lose people when you talk about money in your infomercial. Remember, you want to have them contact YOU in order to get on board with those awesome benefits.

Next, I want you to add this in front of the next sentence:

What’s better?? <—–

With IDShield, our licensed private investigators work one-on-one with identity theft victims to ensure TOTAL identity restoration to pre-theft status – and the plans are backed by a $5 million service guarantee!

YES. You heard that right!

With these plans in place, I’ll help you gain peace of mind and control of benefits implementation – while your employees focus on work over worry.

This paragraph below is not great, consider removing it:

When you work with me, you can strategically focus on developing people and process strategies to support business objectives… and reduce the stress and chaos of employees dealing with personal problems.

Good CTA:

If you’re ready to put your voluntary benefits on autopilot, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

[Neil McGlone]

Thanks Negeen!

I’m removing the reference to money, but keeping the rest of the sentence — it helps set up the What’s Better question you added — I love that!

I’ll remove the paragraph you suggest, but just want you to know that lots of my HR clients feel like the nature of their job makes them so tactically focused and they can’t be strategic.

I feel really good about the video now; we’ll likely shoot it on Monday!

[n d]

Oh, I understand! Thank you for letting me know, @neil-mcglone 🙂 yes, please keep anything you KNOW your viewers will appreciate.

There’s a video called “VIDEO TIPS” in the Transformational Business Strategy Module, I recommend watching if you have any questions about filming.

SUPER proud of your hard work!!

 

[Author]

Posts