4 years, 11 months ago-
Posts
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Hi @jennifer-barcenas, welcome to the program and SUPER job taking action on your profile! I’ve provided my feedback below:
Great profile photo – I see in that in another post, you wanted to add a white background and to have a customized banner image. You can email our graphic designer, Lindsey, and she can help you with that!
Headline:
Your headline is good but it could look better – try this:
Want Maximum PROFIT From Selling Your Home WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!
Summary:
Instead of writing “What i’m passionate about” you want to make it about THEM. As much as possible. I would retitle:
HOW I HELP MY CLIENTS:
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When you say “I have done this in many different ways and environments” this becomes confusing and not solely focused on being a realtor so my best tip is to solely write about helping clients sell their home and why you’re better than your competitors.
This will help with direct marketing to the right clients! For example, if you help people sell or buy homes, we ask you to pick the one you like the most.
GOOD call to action 🙂
Everything else looks great!!
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@negeen-dargahi great feedback, thank you! I made the updates – would love one more glance to see if it hits the mark.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/barcenasjen
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Hey, @jennifer-barcenas, I feel like you’re using the word I way too much. I counted 16 I’s!! Not to mention all the MYs. Make this MUCH more about THEM.
Do your best to rephrase EVERYTHING without using the word I.
For example:
WHAT I DO IN 14 WORDS OR LESS.
I give YOU the gift of TIME when selling your home because I know how valuable it is!
Becomes:
WHAT I DO IN 20 WORDS:
Give YOU the gift of TIME when selling your home so that you can take care of everything else worry-free
Rephrase EVERYTHING like that!
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@halle-eavelyn Thank you for the feedback – I’ve made those updates to my page. Ready for more feedback….Thanks.
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Great job making those changes Halle suggested, @jennifer-barcenas!! Looks NICE!
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