5 years, 11 months ago-
Posts
-
-
-
Hi @jeanette-uptain! You posted in the right place 🙂 below is my feedback:
You’ve got some good information here but let’s add a bit more content to really make your infomercial powerful.
To stay organized with your points, fill out this template:
How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…
Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?Want __________?
(after you ask 3 questions)
If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.
(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)
(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)
If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.
-
Infomercial #2
Are you wanting to sell your home for the highest possible amount of money in the shortest amount of time? Do you need an honest, committed realtor with integrity who will make it all about you? Want a stress free real estate experience?
If you answered ‘YES” to those questions, you have come to the right place!
Hi, I’m Jeanette. I am a realtor helping clients sell their home or buy their dream home and if you are not in my area I will refer you to one of the best in your area.
If you are thinking about selling, I would do my homework and price it right. I do not believe in chasing the market. If you are looking to buy a home, I will listen with my heart so I understand your wants and needs. Together, we will find your dream home!
I am passionate about giving back. I always donate part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or to the cancer society unless you have a special place you would want me to donate to.
If you want to talk, then please message me here on Linkedin to see if we’re a good fit.
Jeanette Uptain
-
@Hi, @jeanette-uptain This versions is MUCH better!
I love that you talk about donating to charity, and I’m sure your ideal client will love that about you too!
There are just a few things to tweak here.
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the highest possible amount of money in the shortest amount of time? ”
Let’s change this to “Are you wanting to sell your home for the highest price point in the shortest amount of time?”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette. I am a realtor helping clients sell their home or buy their dream home and if you are not in my area I will refer you to one of the best in your area.”
This is quite a mouth full. Let’s shorten it and ONLY focus on buying OR selling for this infomercial.
So it could look like this for example: “Hi, I’m Jeanette, and I’m a realtor helping clients sell their homes in _____ (YOUR AREA). No need to add “and if you are not in my area I will refer you to one of the best in your area.”
And then tailor your next paragraph towards buying or selling.
TAG ME AND/OR NEGEEN IN YOUR REVISION!
-
Hi Amanda,
Is this better?
Infomercial #3
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all my clients by holding an open house for not only the public but I also hold a special open for all the neighbors.” “I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out there.” ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you want to talk, please message me here on Linked In.” “Thanks”
Jeanette Uptain
-
-
Infomercial #3
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all my clients by holding an open house for not only the public but I also hold a special open for all the neighbors.” “I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out there.” ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you want to talk, please message me here on Linked In.” “Thanks”
Jeanette Uptain
-
Infomercial #3
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all my clients by holding an open house for not only the public but I also hold a special open for all the neighbors.” “I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out there.” ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you want to talk, please message me here on Linked In.” “Thanks”
Jeanette Uptain
-
-
-
@Hi, @jeanette-uptain! So sorry for my delay! I was in Cincinnati helping out with the Summit Wednesday-Saturday!
But WOW, this is SO much better! You did a great job implementing the feedback I gave you!
I love your pain points and the specific info you give on why/how you’re different. The only thing to change is the wording here:
“I go the extra mile for all my clients by holding an open house for not only the public but I also hold a special open for all the neighbors.” “I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out there.”
You say “also” too much here.
Let’s re-word the first sentence so that the second sentence sounds better. How about:
“I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out!”
And I just want to tweak your call to action a little bit.
From this:
“If you want to talk, please message me here on Linked In.” “Thanks”
To this:
“If you’re ready to work with a realtor who puts YOUR interests first, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit to work together.”
-
Thank you, Amanda! How is this?
Infomercial #4
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out! I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out there.” ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you’re ready to work with a realtor who puts YOUR interests first, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit to work together.”
“I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out!”
-
-
Sorry, sent the wrong revision,
Infomercial #4
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out. ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you’re ready to work with a realtor who puts YOUR interests first, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit to work together.”
“I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I also make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out!”
-
Sorry, I sent the wrong revision,
Infomercial #4
“Are you wanting to sell your home for the HIGHEST price point in the SHORTEST amount of time?”
“Do you need an HONEST realtor with utmost integrity?”
“Want a STRESSFREE transaction?”
“If you answered ‘yes’ to those questions, you have come to the right place!”
“Hi, I’m Jeanette and I am a realtor helping clients sell their homes in Ventura and LA county.” “I always do my homework in pricing homes right the first time so we don’t end up chasing the market.” ” I will NOT do what I call the three Ps. !.” PUT your listing in the multiple listings. 2. PLACE a sign in your yard, and 3. PRAY someone else sells it.” “I go the extra mile for all of my clients! I hold open houses for the public AND a special one for all of the neighbors! I make calls every morning to people in the surrounding area to ensure that the word gets out. ” I communicate with weekly updates by phone, e-mail or text messages, whatever suits my client best.” “Together, my clients and I work out a game plan and get the job done.”
“I am very passionate about giving back and I always give part of my commission to an animal rescue I volunteer at or the cancer society, unless you have a special charity you want me to donate to.”
“If you’re ready to work with a realtor who puts YOUR interests first, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit to work together.”
-
@@jeanette-uptain That last one looks great! NICE job! Now time to film!!
-
Support Forums are being phased out. You can still view the existing Forum posts but can no longer post in them. For all Support needs, please email help@coredm.com or click the blue Question Mark icon in the lower right hand corner of your screen.