Infomercial script for review

[Cynthia Johnson]

HI!  I’m Cindy Johnson and simply put… I help housing dreams become a reality.

How?  By listening and understanding all that YOU are trying to accomplish by making a change in where you live.  Change can seem overwhelming. (Even when it will drastically improve your life in one way or another once you get it behind you.) Why wait?

I’m an expert at using my skills, relationships and resources to devise a no non-sense action plan that works best for YOU and helping you through every step of the buying process.

What is YOUR dream? Lots of space for family and friends? A community with resort like amenities?  Single level living with exterior maintenance handled for you?

Whatever it is, let’s get together and make a plan! Before you know it, you will be LIVING YOUR DREAM and making wonderful new memories!!  Stop waiting! It’s YOUR turn!!

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson! Nice work on your infomercial and providing some great content! Below is just an outline I provided members to better organize their infomercial. Just input your content into it and see what needs moving around:

How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…

(after you ask 3 questions)

If this sounds like you… I know EXACTLY how to help.

Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.

(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help — which you have great sentences above that can go right here)

(motivating 1 liner)

If you’re wanting _______________ then message or call me TODAY at _________ to see if we’re a good fit.

[Cynthia Johnson]

Thanks so much @negeen-dargahi

How about this?

Do you feel like it’s time to move but feel overwhelmed about the process?

Are you worried about using stairs or handling all of the yard work and upkeep outside?

Is safety a concern without becoming isolated?

If this sounds like you or someone you know I know EXACTLY how to help!

I’m Cindy Johnson and I have helped literally thousands of people buy a new place over the last 20 something years.

I’m an expert at listening and understanding all that YOU are trying to accomplish by making a change in where you live.  Then I simply use my skills, relationships and resources to devise an action plan that works best for YOU and I will personally help you through every step of the buying process.

If you want a step-by-step plan to help YOUR dream come to life please contact me! THAT’s the first step.

Before you know it, you will be LIVING YOUR DREAM and making wonderful new memories!!  Please don’t let life just pass you by! Live your best life possible NOW!

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson!

When you ask the last 2 pain point questions:

“Are you worried about using stairs or handling all of the yard work and upkeep outside?

Is safety a concern without becoming isolated?”

Are you targeting an older generation who is having difficulty moving out?? Who are you targeting exactly because those questions are very specific… which is great but you need to make that more clear in your explanation in the middle.

Let me know and I can help you fix it.

 

[Cynthia Johnson]

Yes @negeen-dargahi I primarily sell single level living condos in a gated community where all exterior maintenance is included.  Ease of life is in mind here. I also host events for the residents at our clubhouse so they will get out and about and not stay cooped up in their condo.

I’m dealing with adult children helping figure out a good place for their parents to live near them but not with them and we offer upstairs bonus suites for family members or care givers to assist them so they can “age in place” and avoid nursing homes.

Almost everyone I meet never wants to move again.

We have beautiful surroundings, pet friendly, near great medical facilities, etc.

 

[Cynthia Johnson]

Hi @negeen-dargahi

I welcome your help!

Meanwhile, I have added a sentence that might fix it?

Do you feel like it’s time to move but feel overwhelmed about the process?

Are you worried about using stairs or handling all of the yard work and upkeep outside?

Is safety a concern without becoming isolated?

If this sounds like you or someone you know I know EXACTLY how to help!

I’m Cindy Johnson and I have helped literally thousands of people buy a new place over the last 20 something years. More and more of us are thinking ahead and looking into ways to “age in place” while enjoying our life to the fullest!

I’m an expert at listening and understanding all that YOU are trying to accomplish by making a change in where you live.  Then I simply use my skills, relationships and resources to devise a no non-sense action plan that works best for YOU and I will personally help you through every step of the buying process.

If you want a step-by-step plan to help YOUR dream come to life please contact me! THAT’s the first step.

Before you know it, you will be LIVING YOUR DREAM and making wonderful new memories!!  Please don’t let life just pass you by! Live your best life possible NOW!

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson, so I never got the implication that you were helping children move out. Focus on one audience or the other for your infomercial to avoid confusion.

You could:

• keep it simple and target ONLY those needing to move out into a great community
• speak to ONLY those elders in nursing homes, etc
• speak only to college kids, etc.

Because your 3 pain point questions MUST be specific to your client avatar.

Make sense? Please revise those!

[Cynthia Johnson]

Hi @negeen-dargahi

In some of the recordings I’m hearing that LinkedIn probably doesn’t have many members who are already retired so it is probably best that I speak to the adult children who ARE on LinkedIn helping with this process with their parents due to their concern for their parents’ safety and preferring not to have their parents move in with with them.

So here’s my new draft targeting the adult children of the parents who need to relocate:

Do you feel like your parents’ home is no longer safe for them?

Too many stairs, too much yard work, just too big in general?

If so, I know EXACTLY how to help!

I’m Cindy Johnson and I have helped literally thousands of people buy a new place over the last 20 something years.

I’m an expert at listening and understanding all that YOU are trying to accomplish by making a housing change.  Then I simply use my skills, relationships and resources to devise an action plan that works best for YOU and I will personally assist through every step of the process so it doesn’t feel overwhelming.

More and more of us are thinking ahead and looking into viable ways to “age in place” while enjoying our lives to the fullest! If you are ready to put a plan into action so you AND your parents can live your best lives possible sooner rather than later – please contact me!

Before you know it, you will be making wonderful memories in beautiful, new surroundings!!

 

 

 

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson!! MUCH better pain point questions. Very direct with your audience.

I don’t like when you say “over the last 20 something years.” Keep it professional and precise.

Changed To:

“Hi, I’m Cindy Johnson and I am a ________ helping clients like YOU _______ with over 20 years of experience!”

Take out “I’m an expert at listening” because that almost doesn’t seem like something you can claim to be an expert on.

Consider starting that paragraph with:

“When you work with me, I make sure you are FULLY taken care of. ___________.

With my skills, relationships and resources… I can devise a UNIQUE action plan that works best for YOU and I will personally assist you through every step of the process to avoid any stress or overwhelm.

How does that sound?”

^ this really helps your message flow better with more BANG.

Nice work!

[Cynthia Johnson]

Thanks @negeen-dargahi

I’m Listening and I will keep trying.

My avatar interviews all said the main thing they felt with me that no one else made them feel is that I LISTEN to them – so they think that’s important but I am paying you guys so I will listen to you right now HA

 

 

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson LOL love it.

How about you say something like:

If you’re ready for your realtor to FINALLY listen to you and all your needs, give me a call today at_______.

Or mention this “If you’re ready for your realtor to FINALLY listen to you and all your needs” some point in your sentence.

I just didn’t like that you said “expert listener”

 

[Cynthia Johnson]

@negeen-dargahi

How’s this?

 

Do you feel like your parents’ home is no longer safe for them?

Too many stairs, too much yard work, just too big in general?

If so, I know EXACTLY how to help you!

“Hi, I’m Cindy Johnson, I have over 20 years of real estate experience and I am an expert at helping clients like YOU!”

With my skills, relationships and resources… I can devise a UNIQUE action plan that works best for YOU and I will personally assist you through every step of the process so you can avoid unnecessary stress or feeling overwhelmed.

If you’re ready to work with someone who will FINALLY listen to you and YOUR needs, give me a call today at 678-409-7100.

I will make sure to take care of YOUR specific needs and all of the details so that you and your parents can live YOUR best lives possible sooner rather than later?

Before you know it, you will be making wonderful memories in beautiful new surroundings!!

[n d]

Hi @cindy-johnson!

Last feedback and you’re good to go – the line where you have your phone number, that is your call to action, so just move that to the very end of your infomercial, okay?

Great work 🙂

[Author]

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