Infomercial

[Eric Calciano]

Hi @negeen-dargahi,

 

I hope all is well!

 

Could you review my 30 second infomercial?

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[n d]

Hi @eric-calciano! A really nice job on your infomercial; informative and right to the point!

• your first sentences could be even more powerful if turned into a question:

“Are you like most business owners… Feeling the stress of being able to offer a competitive employee benefits package while keeping costs reasonable?”

^ or just

“Are you feeling the stress of being able to offer a competitive employee benefits package while keeping costs reasonable?”

I feel you should introduce yourself somewhere in the beginning after your first or second point and THEN provide a bit more information (THIS IS OPTIONAL because what you have is great – I just want to keep their attention 100% of the way).

Everything else looks fantastic! Play around with it, what you currently have is good to go! I would personally change the first point into a question so my attention is immediately grabbed.

[Eric Calciano]

Hi @negeen-dargahi,

Thanks for the feedback!

I’ll implement the changes you suggested and start recording.

[Author]

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