6 years, 1 month ago-
Posts
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@Hi Alessandra and Larry
Next time you make a post for a LinkedIn review make sure you tag myself, or @negeen-dargahi. That way we will be notified so we can better assist you.
The link you provided does not work, please re-post with a link that will take us to your LI profile.
-Amanda
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Hi @larry-williams, please read @amanda-hendrickson response above.
To get a direct link to your LI profile in order to get feedback, please do this:
- on this page to the left, look for “tutorials” on the left-hand side
- click on that and watch the first video, this will help you with getting your profile link
- then, make a new comment here with that and tag me!!
Thank you!
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Hi @larry-williams and Alessandra! Nice job taking action on your profile. Below is my feedback:
Background Photo: I want you to email our graphic designer and tell her about your field of business and have her create a background image that best describes your field. What you have can be BETTER.
Profile Photo:
I know you two work together but you REALLY need to zoom in on your photo. Please remove the phone number from your profile photo as no one will be able to see it anyways. When you start connecting, people are going to want to see your face VERY clearly.
Headline (words under your name) — this needs work and I’d like to you fill this out and add it to that location:
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞MSG Me!Summary:
(examples below)
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II” videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with abullseyee) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.
There’s far too much emphasis in here on YOU and not enough on THEM – these videos will help you see why it’s important to make it so much more about them!
Refer to the examples and copy the format and outline they have!
Your first 2 sentences of your summary are the MOST important. How about you list 3 questions your clients struggle with. What are their pain points? “Tired of _____” “Want _______ but CANT?” “Are you ______?”
THEN, after you list pain points, say HOW you can help them and WHAT exactly you do to help them achieve that.
2 sentences how are you different than your competitorsWho you like to work with
Then add a call to action with your contact info:
If you’re wanting _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______to see if we’re a good fit!
TAG me in your revision!!
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<!–more–>https://www.linkedin.com/in/larrywilliamshelpshomebuyers/
here it is!!! what do you think?
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Hi @larry-williams! Nice job taking action.
Did you email Lindsey about the background photo??
Good job zooming in on the profile photo!
Headline: Please remove the CAPS. It’s WAY too loud. You want to remain alpha and not plead for someone’s business.
Summary:
Your question “Tired of not selling your home for TOP DOLLAR” this does not make sense. Please redo your pain point questions.
Please remove that question and how about adding REAL pain point questions clients face like:
“Are you tired of not having QUALIFIED buyers looking at your home?”
“Need ______ but don’t know where to start?”
“Do you WANT ______?”
If that sounds like you… you came to the right place!
WHAT WE DO:
We help YOU __________ (say what you do)
Essentially…
When you work with us, YOU get (you can put here the info you provided on how you serve your clients).
Great call to action!!
So, proof read once more. Fix the grammar and make sure it really flows like a sales letter. Look back at the examples, get your background image changed and you’re good to go! Please implement the feedback I provided. Good work!
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Hi @larry-williams – to confirm, you emailed Lindsey@coredm.com ?
Feedback on profile:
Can you lowercase “LARRY ALESSANDRA WILLIAMS TEAM” for your name? Kind of loud, something to consider.
Your headline is also loud. Remember, all CAPS can come off loud and desperate for business.
Please copy and paste this into your headline:
Want To SELL Your Home To QUALIFIED Buyers For Top Dollar?☆Expert Realtor Helping Clients In Michigan☆☞ MSG Us!
Summary:
There are LOTS of random big gaps in your profile and when you put “WHAT WE DO” you didn’t really answer that.
Below I’ve reformatted your points for you to copy and paste in your summary, as it had thick paragraphs.
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Are you tired of not having QUALIFIED buyers looking at your home?
Need to sell your home without ENORMOUS EXPOSURE but don’t know where to start?
Do you WANT an EXPERT plan to get your home SOLD?
If that sounds like you…. you came to the right place!
What We Do In A Few Words:
We deliver to YOU in-depth real estate services.
Essentially…
When you work with us, YOU get to focus on YOU instead of searching and negotiating.
We eliminate the STRESS of where your next property is coming from and can deliver qualified buyers when you’re ready to sell.
Who We Work With:
Individuals, families, CEO, Investors, Land acquisition, Ranch Properties.After living in the area for over 60 YEARS, I know the area very well.
Forget worrying about all the tedious work, we take care of all the listing and/or searching properties…
AND statistical analysis will provide me with “JUST SOLD” properties located near your home I will provide you with a collection of what your home will sell in.
Guaranteed results.
This adds a “less STRESS, more time for you” approach to buying/selling properties.
This is NOT a plea for MORE business.
This is ME helping you gain COMPLETE control of your time during this process.
If you want to work with an agent who understands business and wants to help YOU not his/her own bottom line, delivering what YOU want, while keeping the stress end as seamless as possible…
Give us a call TODAY at 586-362-7024-248-917-2323 to see if we’re a good fit!
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https://www.linkedin.com/in/larrywilliamshelpshomebuyers/
I totally noticed a difference! what do you think now?
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Looks great, @larry-williams! Just don’t forget to change your headline to the one I helped you with above!
If she doesn’t respond by Tuesday, please email support@coredm.com
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thank you so very much!! I changed my headline , now messaging feeling confident @negeen-dargahi
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