5 years, 7 months ago-
Posts
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@halle-eavelyn @negeen-dargahi
Ok, ladies, I changed it up a bit – actually quite a bit – from where I thought I was going with this. Let me know what you think so I can wrap this up!
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Hi @jen-davis! Nice job, re-tagging in @halle-eavelyn to take a look 🙂
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@negeen-dargahi Thank you for reading it. Hopefully, I can get this cleaned up and ready to go.
Jennifer
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@negeen-dargahi @halle-eavelyn
@anthony-simonie
Do you think I could get Anthony to review my Hero Story draft? I talked to him when I signed up for this program and would love his input! I submitted the draft 2 days ago and am anxiously waiting for comments so I can move on!
Thanks,
Jennifer
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Hey @jen-davis,
I believe @halle-eavelyn is catching up on those in the order that they have been submitted. Shouldn’t be too long. These reviews are pretty time-intensive, so it takes a bit sometimes. Nice work on getting it put together!
Anthony
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@jen-davis YES, she does!!! I’m in the middle of catching up on all of these and appreciate your patience!! Keep moving forward in the meantime!!
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@jen-davis It will for sure be a few days before I get to this, and in the meantime…
Just opening it I can see:
There’s NO call to action at the end! You need a paragraph that tells people what to do next (contact you)
Please review the Hero Stories in this forum for examples and resubmit yours, ok? ALSO, there’s NO PLACE where it says your name in the whole doc. In addition to needing it in the TITLE of the Doc (Hero Story Davis, eg) you also want to tell them who you are in the CTA at the end.
Make sense?? XXOO Keep going, lady!!!
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Thanks, Halle! I got carried away in my story and forgot the purpose! Lol!
Do I really use “My Hero Story” as the title? I know you all have tested all of this to the max, but that sounds SO self serving. I wondered if maybe that was an internal title but not to be used on the story we post and share.
I’ll work on your suggestions.
As always, thank you!
Jennifer
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I went back and re-read the Hero Stories you suggested and they are amazing!
I have tweaked mine and added the CTA at the end as well as my name in the title.
Thanks, Halle, here it is for your review!
Jen
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I submitted the updated version of My Hero Story last week and was wondering when I should expect a review? I have a feeling it doesn’t have enough sizzle, but it may be I have lost interest. I read all the others and the rewatched the video, and mine isn’t very impressive. I am in recovery and completely changed my life 18 years ago, but that storyline may freak some people out. And anonymity is the foundation of the program. Thoughts, my friend? Thanks, Halle.
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Halle, there are 2 distinct story lines in these versions of my hero story. I addressed the suggestions you made on the first one and then wrote a different version. The biggest difference is in the 2nd one I went into the story of my 2nd marriage, which was a disaster. It may be better left untold. He was my commercial business partner and getting out of that relationship and marriage was a huge challenge, but I did it. Please take the time to read both versions and let me know which to clean up and improve. 2 failed marriages may be more information than is helpful. Thank you.
Jen
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@halle-eavelyn, tagging you in this ^
Thank you, @jen-davis!
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@negeen-dargahi @halle-eavelyn
Any idea where I am in the line up of stories to be reviewed?
Thanks,
Jen
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@jen-davis I’m so sorry, but I can’t take the time to review every draft, nor to review multiple variations. I suggest you do a polish on the one that’s deeper – the one you are afraid of. Then share it with 5 former clients and ask them for feedback, per the instructions.  READ the Hero Story Overview Map, which is a pinned post at the top of the Hero Story Forum. It will tell you where to go from here! IF you still want me to take a look at the final, I will do so – just tag me once you consider it fully complete.
cc. @negeen-dargahi
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Also, you saw my suggestions about the title, right? Because you’re RIGHT – NO “Hero Story” titles!!!
@jen-davis XXOO
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Yes, I think I found an appropriate title. I’ll have to go back and be sure. Thanks,
Jen
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I think I am close – if I don’t have it nailed. I am moving on until I hear back from you. Sorry I got carried away in the last one with my AA shout out!
I think I would not be embarrassed to share this with others. Remember, I was raised in the South where family secrets are sacred! Lol!
Thank you for continuing to encourage me. This is helping me but I have a LONG way to go.
Jen
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