Hero story for new business PLEASE REVIEW AND ADVISE – Sharon Wu

[Sharon wu Wu]

Finally got my Hero story finished, and oh… my… god…, the 2nd draft was horrible after I had my daughter proof read it.  English is my 2nd language.  It comes back “all red” filled with her grammar correction and question marks asked my what do I try to say.

To be honest, LinkedIn is not my major market.  I don’t want to spend too much time stuck here, but I do need a good online presence, that’s the purpose for this whole thing.  And so far I can see how powerful this program helped me achieve that goal.

Part 1 is over 2000 words, forgot to ask @kent-littlejohn what is consider too long or too short.

Should I wait until I see the result from part 1 to continue on part 2 so I don’t waste too much time here?

@negeen-dargahi

 

 

Please give me some feedback.  Thanks.

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[Halle Eavelyn]

Hi, @sharon-wu – first of all, you are a MUCH better writer than you think you are!  Each little vignette has FLOW, which is great.

Now, I can feel you pulling back – “To be honest, LinkedIn is not my major market.  I don’t want to spend too much time stuck here, but I do need a good online presence, that’s the purpose for this whole thing.” That’s you PROTECTING YOURSELF from making a mistake, from feeling uncomfortable.  You are gonna CLEAN UP, Sister!!! You just have to stick to it and not get discouraged, ok??

Just keep saying: “thank you for sharing” and keep putting one foot in front of the other!  And… KEEP COMING to the Mindset Coaching calls – you need them to make sure you don’t get sucked under with stories of what you CAN’T do!  Remember, Henry Ford said it first: “Whether you believe you CAN or you believe you can’t, YOU’RE RIGHT!”

Your Hero Story is not well organized right now.  There’s no real THEME.  While @kent-littlejohn said it can’t be too long, it DOES need to make a point and tell us about YOU, not just every real estate nugget you’ve gotten in no particular order.  So… go back to your THEME.  Watch that Hero Story video (YEP, AGAIN!!) Listen with NEW EARS.  You want to tell us WHO YOU WERE, WHAT CHANGED and WHO YOU ARE NOW.  You want to share your GROWTH arc with us!  For example, WHAT did your parents choosing to invest in real estate to keep your brother in school TEACH YOU? That’s the focus of that story!  THAT tells us what shaped YOU.  Every story needs to be THROUGH YOUR EYES about YOUR LESSONS watching, participating, or experiencing.  Make sense?

Once all this is revised, you can pay someone on Fiverr to review the story and correct all your grammar/typos, etc.  But HONESTLY, your writing style is MUCH BETTER than many whose first language is English.  Get over worrying about that!! It’s not a concern for me, or for almost all of your clients, I promise!! I’ve seen more typos from a guy from Jersey than from you!!  And you should see when someone is dyslexic!!

Remember Mr. Ford’s wise words and stop making that excuse about your bad English (even in your head) every time.  I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! THE TEAM BELIEVES IN YOU!! And believe it or not… you’re doing GREAT!!! I’m super proud of all your ACTION TAKING so just keep moving forward – keep up that Massive Imperfect Action!!

@kent-littlejohn, @matt-barcus

[Sharon wu Wu]

You are right!

“Your Hero Story is not well organized right now.  There’s no real THEME.”

That’s what I feel something wrong but don’t know what.   What’s difficult for me is I can’t even answer the 3 simple yet most important questions.

Let’s focus on

“WHO YOU WERE, WHAT CHANGED and WHO YOU ARE NOW. ”

I am a scientist, technology person – very boring, isn’t it?

What Changed… I don’t know, I think I am still me, nothing had changed.  I just found I have more time after I am out of my mom’s job.

I still love technology, but found out that while most realtors worry about their career could be taken over by Zillow, Trulia, Redfin, I found that I actually enjoy the technology than scared of it.  Like today, I just found out that by knowing how to utilize the big data and the tool title company provide, I can triple the return on investment of our marketing cost by more than 3x.  But, how can I make telling the numbers into fun stories…

I recalled that when I worked with my interior designer, he said “put the stencil in the center”, I asked him, if you could tell me how many inches from the wall that will be easier.

I was trying to tell the story in

Part 1 – as small mom and pop investor

Part 2 – as a small developer what kind of problem have we faced and how I use technology to solve the problem

Part 3 – The multi unit investment and syndication experiences

Should I completely torn down the building and reconstruct it or can I just do a remodel?

 

[Halle Eavelyn]

LOL – REMODEL, @sharon-wu!!!  What I mean is, What have you LEARNED that has made you the person who you are today.  For example, what lessons did you learn as a mom&pop investor (unless you mean your folks, in which case, what did you learn from watching them)?

When you look at Kent and Anthony’s Hero Stories, you see what made them who they are today – you see the lessons and you RELATE to them as people.  That’s what we want from you!

So it’s not just about the CHRONOLOGY – that’s just a pathway through it. It’s about sharing with us the deepest pieces of Sharon.  For example, you talk a LOT about English as your second language.  Let’s say you told a story of someone making fun of you because of your accent, and how much that hurt.  And how you had to overcome it to be able to really communicate with your clients.  You might say how you never take even a sentence for granted, even now when your English is so much better.

OK, people would feel compassion, and they would say, “Hey, I too was hurt by someone ignorantly making fun of me! Boy, can I relate to Sharon’s story!” And you would show resilience and growth having mastered that pain AND that language.

So THAT would be who you WERE (a non-English speaker) What changed (you learned the language and overcame a barrier) and who you are now – a resilient person who survived that pain and overcame that challenge.  Relatable and honest and only a PART of your story, but very valuable as a relationship builder to your clients.

Make sense? If you could find that story plus 2 others about things you learned about yourself because of business transactions, that would be enough.  I feel like you have enough material now but it’s not shining your spotlight in the right places yet.

I hope this helps guide you!  If not, come to Thursday’s call and let’s DISCUSS!!

[Sharon wu Wu]

I stay up till 3:30am and wake up early try to finish up my story in one shot.

The 30 mins per day idea is not working for me, by the time I can concentrate to do some real work 30 mins is already gone…

Love the feedback from my midterm call.

Here is the rebuild for my hero story based on the suggestions.

I am eager to hear your feedback.

Thanks.

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[Sharon wu Wu]

I think Jennifer’s way is easier for me.

I got lost jumping through the loops of those 19 questions.

@halle-eavelyn

@negeen-dargahi

@anthony-simonie

@kent-littlejohn

@matt-barcus

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