5 years ago-
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Hi @karl-bareither, welcome to the program and NICE job taking massive imperfect action on your profile! Below is my full feedback:
After you read my feedback – I do want you to review the lesson once more!
Profile Photo: great smiling face but the photo is VERY grainy and low quality. Do you have the same image but in higher and better quality? Please find one so you’re able to see your face clearly.
Banner Image: What you have is that blue background. Let’s have our graphic designer, Lindsey, create a custom one for you. Email her and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better.
Headline (words under name):
What you currently have written is “President and Founder, FBR System”
This needs some work. How about filling out this template to really grab their attention:
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!
Summary:
There needs to be better information and better organization to lead them effortlessly through your sales letter.
Kent is following the structure which I feel is best you use as reference:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
Copy the FORMAT/outline and pay attention to the way they lead you through their profile.
Look how he details HOW he helps his clients, WHO he works with, etc.
Please make sure you watch Halle’s video called: “BENEFITS MARKETING and BENEFITS MARKETING II videos in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bullseye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.
There’s far too much emphasis in here on YOU and not enough on THEM – these videos will help you see why it’s important to make it so much more about them!
You could even start your summary off asking 3 short and sweet and POWERFUL pain point questions!
You also need a better call to action. How about this:
If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Please tag me in your revision 🙂
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Second attempt please review and provide comment.
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Second attempt please review and provide comment.
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Hi @karl-bareither, I saw your post in the Q&A forum and so glad you asked – below are specific details to improve your profile.
Also, please do make the necessary changes (profile image, banner, etc).
Please look below:
Your headline is on the right path. Here’s what you currently have:
Want to increase revenue and effectively position your firm in the HNW family owned business market? Message me!
I know HNW stands for “High Net Worth” but some people may not know that right off the bat, consider writing it out. We want to remain at a good level of understanding – especially those who may not be as informed.
You could try a revised version like:
Want To INCREASE Revenue AND Grow Product Sales In The Family Owned Business Market?☆EXPERT _____ ☆☞MSG Me!
(you can revise if needed – that was an example I created to really have your headline stand out)
About Me/Summary:
Okay, I really like that you revised but again, the reason I wanted you to look at Kent’s profile as an example is so you can see how he led you through his sales letter.
You have GREAT information – I just want there to be a better flow to what you are saying so it’s not just information sitting there.
Below, I wrote out how to effectively begin your about me section – please use it and fill in the blanks I provided. This should really help you – I figured this would be a lot less confusing:
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WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:
“I help companies like YOURS increase sales and revenue in the High Net Worth family-owned business market”
Essentially…
I help you EACH step of the way in following our proven model that has SAVED business owners MILLIONS of dollars while helping them successfully transfer wealth to the next generation.
Yes. You read that right!
I saved a company $_______ in _ years… (example you can use – add a stat)
With our proven strategy and model, you will understand each step in this process as I work with you to ____________.
I help YOU ______________. (here i want you to add 2-3 sentences on specific ways you help your clients)
HERES WHAT CLIENTS HAVE SAID:
(this is a good place to add 1-3 sentence testimonial IF you have one – not required)
Whats EVEN BETTER?
_________________
If this sounds like you and you are READY to _________… give me a call at _____ or shoot me a message today to see if we are the right fit!
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We have taken another stab at updating our profile. Please review again. FYI you mentioned spelling out HNW for high net worth clients – however, we have a limited number of letters and there is not enough space.
Also, how do we go about changing our large background picture in our profile?
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Hi @karl-bareither, I’m glad you took action on your other revision – I have a few questions:
- Did you look into another better quality image for your profile photo?
- Did you email Lindsey in regards to a banner image (background photo) – this is necessary.
- I want you to look back at my feedback. I see you made a few changes but the paragraphs are VERY chunky. I also don’t like that you have provided bullet points. Try writing them out. To avoid chunky paragraphs, press “enter/return” and break them up as I did above.
Karl, I will do it for you below. Please copy and paste!!
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WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:
When you work with me, I help YOU set your company apart from the competition while INCREASING revenue, selling more product, positioning trainers, and MORE within the High Net Worth family owned business market.
Essentially…
Follow our PROVEN model that has saved business owners MILLIONS of dollars while helping them successfully transfer wealth to the next generation.
What’s better?
When we beging working with you and your leadership team, we teach company trainers to train selected advisors to:
_________,_________,________.
(keep it short and don’t drag it on – just list 3 of the popular things you assist with).
Why You Should Work With Me??
Through personal experience with family business, and loss, I have taken my passion to HELP other families discover the real concerns regarding the transfer of a family business to achieve their objectives.
My unique planning process has effectively saved families “millions” of dollars while maintaining family harmony and transferring business wealth to the next generation.
Become more effective through collaboration with the client’s advisors to assist both families and businesses with their wealth transfer planning.
If you are READY to learn how your company can leverage this unique process then give me a call today or message me here on Linkedin to see if we are a good fit.
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Could you please have Lindsey replace our background image on my Linked Profile page. I was having issues with email and could not connect.
Thank you
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Hi @karl-bareither, she is unable to go into your actual LinkedIn profile.
Can you try emailing her again through a different web browser??
Here is her email: Lindsey@coredm.com
Here is how to change your banner image:
- go to LinkedIn.com
- click on “view profile”
- click on the pen icon to the right of your name
- a box will open and there will be a pen icon where the banner image is
- click on that and upload the image that Lindsey sent you
- if you’re still having trouble, come to my technical orientation call tomorrow and i’ll assist
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