4 replies, 2 voices Last updated by n d 1 year, 10 months ago
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    • #49973

      Carolyn Tumminia
      Participant
        @ctumminia@gmail.com

        Hi please review my Headline, Thank you, Carolyn

        https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyntumminia/

         

      • #49991

        n d
        Keymaster
          @negeen@coredm.com

          Hey @carolyn-tumminia, this is a good start! Few tweaks: we recommend focusing on either buyers or sellers for the LinkedIn portion of your message. So, you can mention briefly that you help buyers and sellers in your About section but for everything else, you’ll have a more vital message if you focus on one or the other.

          Also, plug what you have into this template below so it’s better organized. You can copy and paste it into your headline slot.

          Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞Message Me!

          Here is one example:

          Want SEASIDE Living With RESORT Amenities? ☆ I’m An EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Hilton Head Island☆ ☞ Message me!

           

        • #50022

          Carolyn Tumminia
          Participant
            @ctumminia@gmail.com

            Thanks, I will send it back to you when I am done

             

          • #50023

            Carolyn Tumminia
            Participant
              @ctumminia@gmail.com

              Hi Here is my revised headline. i really do not live in a resort community. I live in the midwest. I like to dream about living on a beach somewhere:) Thank you!  https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyntumminia/

            • #50029

              n d
              Keymaster
                @negeen@coredm.com

                Hi there, @carolyn-tumminia!

                Your banner image and profile photo both look fantastic!

                There are some important things to note for the rest of your profile, though:

                Headline:

                This part is SO close, I revised it below just for the consistency of it. Please copy and paste in the headline slot.

                 

                Want To Sell Your Property WITHOUT Added Stress? ☆EXPERT And Knowledgable Realtor Helping Clients In St. Louis, MO Area ☆☞Message Me!

                 

                About Section:

                Please review my initial feedback above – for your sales letter, we don’t want people to read bullet points. We’d love for potential clients to read your sales letter on what you do, why they should work with you, who you help, etc.

                Also, please write in 1st person and not 3rd person. This is so people know you’re speaking directly to them and not as someone else on your behalf.

                Don’t know where to begin on writing your About section?

                Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

                https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

                Here is what we look for in a profile:

                https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

                //

                You are so close, Carolyn! Please make these changes 🙂

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