Dashboard › Forums › High End Client Program › LinkedIn – Infomercial Reviews & Questions › Barcenas – LinkedIn 30sec Infomercial Script
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October 17, 2019 at 12:04 pm #36117
Looking for feedback on my script – see below:
Do you want your Next Deal to be Stress-Free? Do you want to optimize your Financial Gain without making it another full time job? Does this sound too good to be true? It might sound that way, but I know what it’s like to be focused on your career and family and fitting one more thing in can feel like, ONE MORE THING. I’m here to give you the gift of time. Let me be your Real Estate Concierge. I give my clients up-to-date education on market conditions and what’s selling near you. I will save you Valuable Time and $ by previewing properties for you, video walk throughs if that is what fits your schedule best, or meet contractors on your behalf to gather information so you can make the best decisions. Stop worrying about the contingencies, scheduling, and complicated paperwork. My expert advice on Pricing & Staging will set you apart from ANY competition — without you having to lift a finger. If you want your Next Deal to be Stress-Free, and maybe even a little fun 😉, please call me today to discuss working together – 513-460-1182. Thanks!
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October 17, 2019 at 12:11 pm #36118
UPDATED AFTER I READ SOME OF THE OTHER FEEDBACK IN THE POSTS:
Looking for feedback on my script – see below:
Do you want your Next Deal to be Stress-Free? Do you want to optimize your Financial Gain without making it another full time job? Does this sound too good to be true? It might sound that way, but I know what it’s like to be focused on your career and family and fitting one more thing in can feel like, ONE MORE THING. I’m here to give you the gift of time. My name is Jen Barcenas and I know you, I was you as a corporate dual career mom for 10+ years…let me be your Real Estate Concierge. I give my clients up-to-date education on market conditions and what’s selling near you. I will save you Valuable Time and $ by previewing properties for you, video walk throughs if that is what fits your schedule best, or meet contractors on your behalf to gather information so you can make the best decisions. Stop worrying about the contingencies, scheduling, and complicated paperwork. My expert advice on Pricing & Staging will set you apart from ANY competition — without you having to lift a finger. If you want your Next Deal to be Stress-Free, and maybe even a little fun 😉, please call me today to discuss working together – 513-460-1182. Thanks!
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October 21, 2019 at 11:19 am #36127
Hi @jennifer-barcenas, awesome work! Few tiny tweaks:
This sentence needs a revision to flow a bit better:
“It might sound that way, but I know what it’s like to be focused on your career and family and fitting one more thing in can feel like, ONE MORE THING.”
“It might sound that way, but I know what it’s like to be focused on your career and family… especially when fitting one more thing in can feel like, ONE MORE THING.
Instead of saying “I know you” try something other like “I understand YOUR needs”
Everything else looks great 🙂
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October 21, 2019 at 9:41 pm #36137
Thanks! Do you mind taking a look at my video? …also, is there a facebook HECP group I thought I heard about on a call? Thank you!
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October 22, 2019 at 11:50 am #36141
Hi @jennifer-barcenas, your energy is so magnetic! GREAT work taking immediate action on your video – you look fantastic!!
We actually used to have everything via FB groups but we decided to pivot to this platform. So, we no longer have active FB groups but i’m glad you asked!
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October 23, 2019 at 10:58 pm #36161
aaah! thank you – i was SO UNCOMFORTABLE doing it…..glad it comes across better than it felt! 🙂
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