-
Posts
-
-
@negeen-dargahi @halle-eavelyn
Hi Negeen,
here is my 30 seconds pitch.
<p style=”margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;”>Like many other business owners, you may dream about safe retirements.</p>
<p style=”margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;”>This is when you will have plenty of time to enjoy your life. Be with your family, travel, relax at the beach… You just do not want to do it with no money, right?</p>
<p style=”margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;”>Working with me you will sell your business at the right price. Florida Buy and Sell have extensive international liaison, which helps us to bring more investors to our clients.</p>
<p style=”margin: 0in; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt;”>Message me so we can start your journey to a stress-free life.</p>
-
Hi @nikolay-safonov, this is a really good start! Some ideas:
How about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…
Are you WANTING _________?
Do you NEED __________?Want __________?
(after you ask 3 questions)
If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.
(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help / how you serve your clients)
(you can add 1-2 more sentences about why they should work with you or maybe a motivating 1 liner to get them excited)
If you want _______________ then message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.
-
Updated version
Are you WANTING to reduce stress in your life?
Do you NEED more time to be with your family?
Want to relax and enjoy your life?
If you answered ‘YES’ to those questions, you came to the right place!
Hi, I’m Nikolai Safonov and I am a business broker helping clients to sell their businesses and retire happily.
As my client, you will get a professional opinion on your business market value. Besides, you will get my insight on how to make your business more attractive in investors’ eyes.
The entire process will be very confidential.
You only will talk to qualified investors. No tire kickers.
The attraction of international investors is our specialty. Working with us you will be introduced to a larger pool of prospective buyers.
If you want to sell your business, message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit.
-
Hey @nikolay-safonov, i’m always proud of all your hard work!
I have a few grammar changes I’d like you to make:
Remove “to” before “to sell” in the sentence below.
Hi, I’m Nikolai Safonov and I am a business broker helping clients to sell their businesses and retire happily.
Replace “besides” to “Additionally” in the sentence below.
As my client, you will get a professional opinion on your business market value. Besides, you will get my insight on how to make your business more attractive in investors’ eyes.
Revise “you only will” to “you will only”
You only will talk to qualified investors. No tire kickers.
—
Everything total looks FAN-tastic!!! 🙂
-
Support Forums are being phased out. You can still view the existing Forum posts but can no longer post in them. For all Support needs, please email help@coredm.com or click the blue Question Mark icon in the lower right hand corner of your screen.