6 years, 3 months ago-
Posts
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@halle-eavelyn, @negeen-dargahi
I’ve attached a file. Would you let me know what you think of my Infomercial? Thank you, Halle and Negeen.
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Hi @caroline-lanza! Nice job taking action on your infomercial! My feedback is below:
Because this is a short amount of time to be on video, you want to really make sure that your video has all the information your potential client needs to pick up the phone and call you.
Right now, I’m not dying to call you. Let’s excite them and empathize with them to get them on the phone with you.
How about you follow the template below to better organize your infomercial:
*****
Same as your LI, how about you start off asking up to 3 POWERFUL pain point questions…
(after you ask 3 questions)
If this sounds like you… I know EXACTLY how to help. (or something similar to this sentence)
Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.
(2-5 sentences saying HOW exactly you plan to help — which you have great sentences above that can go right here)
(motivating 1 liner)
If you’re wanting _______________ then message or call me TODAY at _________ to see if we’re a good fit.
I hope this helps! Please tag me in your revision 🙂
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Could you use and extra income stream? And what if it was stress free would you be interested? Would you like to be in on the ground floor of something huge? Sound too good to be true?
It might sound like that, but I’m involved with a company that is taking off like a rocket! The product sells itself and everyone 30 and over needs it. How’s that for a booming unlimited market? Can you think of someone (male or female) that meets that criteria?
I will connect you to an UP and COMING health supplement company. You will have access to proven marketing materials.This is a premium supplement with FDA approval and totally homeopathic.
Having been in the healthcare industry for over 30 years this is a WIN. WIN. WIN. Outcome. Individuals Win. Health related Businesses Win. And YOU Win!!!
If you want to work with me and my TERRIFIC up line support team, SHOOT ME A MESSAGE or call/text me at 541-499-4603.
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Hi @remy-boots! Nice work revising. Few things:
This sentence does not make sense –> “Could you use and extra income stream?”
I feel like your 3 pain point questions are very vague, as is the rest of your infomercial.
I understand WHY you’re making it vague but please provide more information on what you do, who you work with and HOW you can help them.
I really have zero idea what you are selling/providing… and if you could make the pain point questions more detailed and specific, it will be very beneficial in the long run.
With that in mind, please come up with 3 POWERFUL and specific pain point questions.
“If this sounds like you… I know EXACTLY how to help. (or something similar to this sentence)
Hi, I’m _______ and I am a ____________ helping clients with _________.”
^ please include this so we know who you are and what you do and who you work with.
Then, you can elaborate on why they should call, as you’ve done.
Hope this helps. Please tag me in your revision!
CC: @halle-eavelyn
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Is your income what you want it to be? Could you use an extra $2K, $5K or even $10K per month? If I could show you a product that everyone 30 years old and older needs would you be interested? And it doesn’t matter if you’re male or female!
Hi, Remy Boots here and I’m a Distributor for NewULife and we have the only Homeopathic Transdermal FDA approved product called Somaderm HGH Gel. Somaderm HGH Gel clinical applications may include; Anti-Aging, Fat Loss, Enhanced Lean Muscle, Improved Sleep, and Heighten Libido.
I will connect you to this UP and COMING health supplement company called NewULife. You will have access to proven marketing materials. And we have a generous compensation plan!This is THE premium supplement that is FDA approved and it is totally homeopathic.
Having been in the healthcare industry for over 30 years this is a WIN. WIN. WIN. Outcome. Individuals Win. Health related Businesses Win. And YOU Win!!!
If you want to work with me and my TERRIFIC up line support team, SHOOT ME A MESSAGE or call/text me at 541-499-4603
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Better, @remy-boots. For future, please post a NEW POST instead of commenting on someone else’s – just so we don’t get the replies all mixed up.
This infomercial is all about selling them the sizzle, not the steak. So… lose the line about male or female – if EVERYONE needs it, that covers them both. And we want less about WHAT you sell and MORE about what’s in it for THEM. You’re hitting that some, but make sure they feel SAFE and LEGIT – there are too many scam companies out there and you want them to hear up front that this one is the best.
So… have YOU been in healthcare for 30 years? Or have they? Be clear. Either way, it adds credibility.
Use words like “proven track record” – take out words like Somaderm HGH Gel, especially twice in a row! Move those RESULTS up towards the top!
Make sense?
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Better, @remy-boots. For future, please post a NEW POST instead of commenting on someone else’s – just so we don’t get the replies all mixed up.
This infomercial is all about selling them the sizzle, not the steak. So… lose the line about male or female – if EVERYONE needs it, that covers them both. And we want less about WHAT you sell and MORE about what’s in it for THEM. You’re hitting that some, but make sure they feel SAFE and LEGIT – there are too many scam companies out there and you want them to hear up front that this one is the best.
So… have YOU been in healthcare for 30 years? Or have they? Be clear. Either way, it adds credibility.
Use words like “proven track record” – take out words like Somaderm HGH Gel, especially twice in a row! Move those RESULTS up towards the top!
Make sense?
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