Hi @nate-callen, a really great start on your infomercial – you had my attention the whole time!

How long is this when you read it out loud? If it goes over 1min 30 – 2min, please condense.

Try having your pain points in the beginning, then introduce yourself and what you do, and then you can dive into why they should work with you.

See how the re-organization works for you! I really like your content. I recall you work with contractors, etc. If you are specific on WHO you work with, consider asking a question like:

Are you a [occupation] or  [occupation] that needs _____?

Proud of you work! Tag me in your revision!

I really like this, @nate-callen! I believe this infomercial is ready to go! Woohoo!

Really looking forward to seeing this recorded!!

If you’re curious how to film your infomercial, Halle has a great video called “video tips”

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the VIDEO TIPS video is in the Transformational Business Strategy module (bottom middle module on your MAIN DASHBOARD – turquoise with a bulls eye) video index is to the right of the video window, in alphabetical order.

Hey, @nate-callen great job!!  However, I’m not sure what the point of your question is? It doesn’t really speak to their PAIN.

Are you a contractor that gets to pick and choose the perfect job each time?

Are you telling them they could if they worked with you? If so, this will be better:

As a contractor, what if you could pick the perfect job each time?

If you’re telling them they can’t, this will be better:

Are you a contractor who’s sick of having to wade through all the crappy jobs out there with ungrateful, cheap clients?

Either way, you want to tie this question into your infomercial so that you are telling them what’s in it for them when they work with you? While I agree with @negeen-dargahi that this is a really good start, I’d like you to watch my 2 Benefits Marketing videos and then re-write this one more time.  You want to tell your audience why they should work with you, not just “well, this worked before but it doesn’t now and I can get you seen now” – a good rule of thumb is to keep asking the question, “why will this be important to my customer/client?” As long as you can keep answering the question, you haven’t gotten to the RESULT.  Once you get to the result, you can go back and look at how you got there – the answers of what you are doing for your customer will be contained in that thread.  For example:

Your words: Luckily, getting on the right track is NOT the crazy costs it was ten years ago. Our streamlined approach will get you running with an EFFECTIVE strategy in just WEEKS.

Q: “Why should they care?”

Because they will get more customers.

Q: “Why is that important to them?”

Because they will get more money and can start to choose bigger and better customers as well.

NOW you can tie that back to the original question, AND… you can tell them THAT instead of sharing your process (effective strategy, weeks to market).

Because all you need to say there is FAST and CHEAP and they are on it, once they know why that’s important to them.

Nate, there’s nothing wrong with what you wrote, but if you want your customers to HEAR YOU effectively, this will work MUCH better. It’s like a ninja call to them.

Tag me in your next draft!!!