Hey @mark-steinbach! Great work taking massive imperfect action on your profile. I love how professional your profile photo is!

Few things:

Headline is on the right track but needed a little help. I re-worked it for you, just copy and paste!

Want to Own Real Estate Near Colorado Mountains WITHOUT Losing Money?☆Expert Broker Helping You Achieve Success!☞MSG Me!

Summary:
You’ve got some great content to work with. The paragraph is a little chunky and not enough content/organization.
Can you format your profile like the examples below:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/
How about you start your summary off with 3 pain point questions that your clients face before working with you.
Then write about HOW you can help your clients and why they should work with you. The outline of those profiles above should be helpful!
It’s very important you have a call to action!
If you’re wanting __________ then give me a call TODAY at ______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
Overall, nice work!
Tag me in your revision!

• This reply was modified 6 years, 5 months ago by n d.

Hey @mark-steinbach!! Great revisions, you’re such an action taker!

Instead of saying “FANTASTIC…” I want you to say “Essentially…”

When you start listing off “newest listings to your email” I want you to write out…

“When you work with me, not only will you get _____ you will also get _______!”

Just so it’s not too listy and they continue to know what exactly you do and will do for them. And then you can add the SIMPLE and LEISURE part.

Typo –> Worry about loosing the propety you Love…

CHANGED to ——> Worried about LOSING the property you absolutely LOVE?

Don’t worry, not only will I fast with negotiations, I’ll also make sure it’s well within your price range!
Who wants to see a home they CAN’T afford?

(TAKE THIS OUT) —> “We can make offers this quick too☞ quick reply
END the STRESS of where your next property is coming from. I can deliver qualified buyers when you’re ready to Sell. ☞Message ME For Your Value”

^^^^

Your call to action needs to be ALPHA 😉 please use this —–>

If you’re wanting __________ then give me a call TODAY at ______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Hey @mark-steinbach!

A really great job taking feedback and applying it!!!

Few more things:

There are these random huge GAPS between your paragraphs. Don’t leave a whole paragraph’s worth of space before your next paragraph, if that makes sense.

I don’t like this:

This lets me know what you like:)☞reply anywhere anytime
change your search… No Problem…quick reply

Change to —>

Find a home you absolutely LOVE?

With my expertise, I’ll work day and night to make sure you are not only viewing homes
in your price point… but homes that you can see yourself living in asap!

Lastly, get rid of the pointer finger at the end of your call to action.

Other than that, AWESOME work 😉