1 reply, 2 voices Last updated by n d 1 year, 7 months ago
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    • #50634

      Jannay Hughes
      Participant
        @jannay@themurphyteam.net

        As requested, I’m putting in a separate ticket for Ron’s profile to be reviewed. I’m working on my edits.

         

        https://www.linkedin.com/in/ron-murphy-c21/

      • #50665

        n d
        Keymaster
          @negeen@coredm.com

          Hi @jannay-murphy-hughes! Appreciate you making a separate request. Below are my comments on Ron’s profile.

          GREAT work on the revised profile photo and banner image! These both are much more professional looking and eye catching.

          Few comments on the Headline (words under name):

          The words bolded are too loud, try to just capitalize EXPERT and not real estate broker.

          Want to Sell Your Estate and Simplify Your Life? I’m an EXPERIENCED REAL ESTATE BROKER Helping Seniors Prepare to Age in Place. I Make the Process Seamless While Saving You Time and Money. Message Me for Details!

          Also, if you look at the 2nd word i bolded “place” is that correct or are you trying to write “peace”. Make sure to adjust.

          About:

          The dashes “——-” are a little much. Just keep it to 2 dashes if you want to section it off.

          Everything else looks AWESOME – good work!

          Call to action at the end:

          What you have currently is “CONTACT ME TODAY TO FIND OUT HOW I CAN HELP YOU! I LOOK FORWARD TO CONNECTING.”

          ^ that’s really loud. Instead, i’d like something like this:

          f you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

           

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