1 year, 8 months ago-
Posts
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Hi @cheryl-mobley, it is wonderful to have you here in the program with us! Great job on taking that massive imperfect action on your profile. Below are my comments for revision:
Your profile photo is lovely but do you have one of you looking at the camera or a professional photo? If not, no worries! Please email the photo to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and she can add a white background to the photo to make it look more professional.
You also need a better background banner image behind your profile photo directly related to your field of work. Please also email Lindsey, what your field of work is in and she will create something custom for you.
Headline (words under name):
What you currently have written is a GREAT start BUT based on the teachings in the program, your headline is the best piece of real estate. How about filling out this template:
Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞Message Me!
Here is one example:
Want SEASIDE Living With RESORT Amenities? ☆ I’m An EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Hilton Head Island☆ ☞ Message me!
About Section:
I love how you start off your sales letter! Please remove the “&” symbol and always write out “and”.
I revised your first sentence to make it stronger:
I help clients like YOU gain time AND financial Freedom all while creating generational wealth. The best part is, most of this can be done without changing anything you’re doing today!
Essentially…
You will have full access to my proven 15-step system which will guide you into making top profit with eXp Realty… all while you continue to offer your services to Buyers, Sellers, and Investors.
What’s better?
You will be able to generate more money with 15 different ways eXp offers that OTHER Brokerages don’t.
Such as stock, agent equity program, America’s Home Warranty, Utilities Connect, Express Offers, lower company fees, no franchise fee, and less expensive Healthcare.
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Cheryl, read the sales letter out loud and any parts that would seem confusing or repetitive for the reader, remove. Otherwise, fantastic job implementing the lesson!!
Once you make these changes you can ask for another look or move forward 🙂
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Please re-read and let me know how I did.
Headline –
Realtors, Brokerage Owners…Want more Time and Money WITHOUT doing anything different? ☆EXPERT Coaching and Training Helping Clients Live their Dream Life! ☆ ☞ Message Me!About –
I help clients like YOU gain time AND financial Freedom all while creating generational wealth. The best part is most of this can be done without changing anything you’re doing today!
Essentially…
You will have full access to my proven 15-step system which will guide you into making top profit with eXp Realty… all while you continue to offer your services to Buyers, Sellers, and Investors.
What’s better?
You will be able to generate more money with 15 different ways eXp offers, 13 that OTHER Brokerages don’t offer.
Such as stock, agent equity program, America’s Home Warranty, Utilities Connect, Express Offers, lower company fees, no franchise fee, and less expensive Healthcare.
==> HERE’S THE DISCLOSURE:
If you’re not interested in having more free time, making more money OR living your dream life…
I CAN’T HELP YOU. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
If those are all things you’re interested in and have been wanting/needing… we should work together.
SHOOT ME A MESSAGE and let’s chat!
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Looks fantastic, @cheryl-mobley!! Good work – once you fix your banner image, you’re good to move forward!
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