Hi Patsy,

I really like your profile. In fact, I liked it so much that I spent time going through all the different parts of it and was impressed with each.

Which I think is exactly the point. You want it interesting, and you nailed it.

Steve Rath

Hi @patsy-whitney, i love what you have so we’ll just focus on your About section:

The content you have written is good! Break up that chunky paragraph into smaller paragraphs.

Also, I want you to write in a few sentences HOW you help your clients but with better formatting like this:

//

Here’s how I help clients like YOU:

With my full knowledge in marketing, your home will be shown to QUALIFIED buyers – my experience in real estate will make your experience smooth, seamless, and stress-free.

//

^ I’d like your sales letter to give off the same structure of leading them into some of the benefits of working with you.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is what we look for in a profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂

Hey @patsy-whitney!

Remove “most” or “every” from the first sentence of your About section / mainly because those words are relatively the same.

Remember that you want to keep the main focus on them and what you can do to help them.

Move this sentence below form the top of your sales letter to somewhere in the middle because you really want to capture them with HOW you can help them.

//

“You have a story that needs to be told, heard and acted upon.
I am a great listener and with my 39 years of experience, I have perfected the art of crafting
the best “Action Plan” to get your home sold.

Instead of saying “You need people! I have people.” I’d like you to say something like:

When you work with me, I make sure QUALIFIED buyers are viewing your home!

^ this keeps it less vague.

Everything else looks good!!!

Looks awesome, @patsy-whitney!! You’re good to move forward!!

@patsy-whitney, please email Lindsey, our graphic designer, and send her those photos please. In the email, please describe what you’d like and she will create the banner photo for you.

Thank you!