2 years, 1 month ago-
Posts
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Hi @scott-kehoe! Thank you for submitting your profile for review. Below are my comments!
Wonderful profile photo, you look great!!
You need a background banner image behind your profile photo. Our graphic designer, Lindsey, can create a custom one for you to upload. Please email her what your field of work is in and she will create that for you!
Headline:
What you have is on the right path, I want you to remove the “preliminary” part and just have them message you!
Do You Want To Maximize The Value Of Your Business And Gain High PROFIT Without Stress? ☆☞ Message Me!
About Section:
I’d like you to talk in the first person as well as get rid of the huge paragraph at the end that is not relevant to your sales letter.
I want you to combine those paragraphs but in a sales letter format.
You want to be speaking directly to your perfect client.
Share WHAT you do, WHO you work with, HOW you help your clients, and WHY they should work with you.
Your message has a lot of information but it’s reading very complex – try to really break it down a bit to make it easier to read and for people to immediately know what you’re talking about.
Example: “It energizes me to help a business owner put together a plan to reduce the stress associated with what is very likely to be the largest financial transaction of their life”
^ too complexWhen someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are significant.
Right now its all about you and not about your clients.
Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program!
https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/
Here is what we look for in a profile:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/
Call to action:
If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
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Let me know when you add these changes to your actual LinkedIn and i’d like to take a look!
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