Hi there @dean-provence! Nice work posting your profile for a review! Below are my comments:

I like your profile photo! Zoom in a bit more so we can see more of your face and less of your suit. It would also look better with a solid background. Please send the photo via email to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and have her add a white background for you!

You also need a better background banner image behind your profile photo. The logo is taking away from valuable advertisement space on what you do. Please also email Lindsey, what your field of work is in and she will create something custom for you! Send that logo to her as well.

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline (words under name):

What you have is good – it just needs to be edited a bit. Use this by copy and pasting:

Sell Your Home To Qualified Buyers WITHOUT Added Stress!☆EXPERT Marketer and Realtor Helping Clients Sell Homes☆☞Message Me!

About Section:

I like how you’re starting off your sales letter asking pain point questions – i do feel they could be stronger.

Are you a first time home buyer and want the secret benefits they don’t tell you about?

Ready for _____ but don’t know where to start?

Tired of your home not being shown to QUALIFIED buyers?

//

When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.

You interrupted your sales letter with a call to action in the middle, remove that and put any call to action at the very end.

Right now, a lot of your message is about YOU and not enough about THEM.

I’d love for you to talk about: WHAT you do, WHO you work with, HOW you help your clients, and WHY they should work with you.

So, try to replace “i” with “you”.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is what we look for in a profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂