Hi @maria-carrasquillo! It is so wonderful to have you here in the program with us! Below are my comments:

Your profile photo is lovely! It’s hard to see your face – would you please zoom in 50% so we are seeing more of your face and less of your body. This will really help because the profile photos become really small when messaging connections. Also, the background is a bit dark. I’d like you to email the photo to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and she will fix that for you!

You also need a better background banner image behind your profile photo. I feel like we could be doing a lot more with this space. Please also email Lindsey what your field of work is in and any logos you want to be used and she will create something custom for you!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline (words under name):

I love where your headline is going!! It’s just a PINCH too wordy in the beginning if you want to condense it a bit. I would stick with one pain point for the headline.

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞Message Me!

Here is one example:

Want SEASIDE Living With RESORT Amenities? ☆ I’m An EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Hilton Head Island☆ ☞ Message me!

About Section:

You have some good content but immediately when reading your sales letter, it’s all about you and less about them. I want you to use more “you” and less “i” in your message.

For example:

“I not only help you sell your home, I educate you through the whole process, so you are aware of what’s going on every step of the way.”

Centered to clients:

“When YOU work with me, you can rest assured that your home is going to be showcased to qualified buyers! In addition to that, you will be aware of what’s going on every step of the way!”

^ see how that transforms your message? Please do that with the rest of your sales letter 😉

When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.

Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized 🙂

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is what we look for in a profile:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielgagnonre/

Call to action at the end:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂

• This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by n d.

Hey there @maria-carrasquillo!

Okay so your headline still needs a pinch of tweaking. Remove “Owner/CEO Maria C Realty, LLC” because this is already on your profile experience section and it shouldn’t be the first thing they see. Also, the last part could be stronger.

Want To Sell Your Home To Qualified Buyers WITHOUT Losing Time? ☆EXPERT Realtor And Marketer Helping Clients In Va. Area☆☞Message Me!

About Section:

Another tweak – due to this being a sales letter, i want you to put the FULL focus on them.

This is still about you if you’re starting your first saying:

“I learned something new about myself over the last few years…and that is that I HAVE A PASSION for making others homeownership dreams come true. It makes my heart smile to know that I did THAT.”

I would start off by saying:

Here’s what I do in 14 words or less:

I help clients like YOU _______________.

Essentially…

Your home will not only be shown to qualified buyers… you will be in the loop the ENTIRE time!

No surprises.

Who I work with: ______________

//

Everything else looks good but remove any call to actions (link) from the middle of your sales letter and move it to the end.

Look back at my feedback above to have better flow with your message.

Hope that helps!

Hi there, @maria-carrasquillo! No problem.

Did Lindsey get back to you regarding the banner image and profile photo?

The headline looks great!!

About Section:

Was this a typo or saying “but it was a done and done double deal.”

(it was hard to read initially)

Everything else looks SUPER!! Great work taking action on this, Maria 🙂