2 years, 6 months ago-
Posts
-
-
@negeen-dargahi Can you please review my profile for me and provide some feedback? Thanks so much!
-
Hi @leah-volkov, definitely!
Your background image and profile photo both look great!
Your headline needs to be tweaked just a tiny bit – I fixed it for you below:
Worried About Your Aging Parents Still Living In Their Home? Need To Know Next Steps? 🌟 EXPERT Realtor Helping Seniors And Their Families Navigate Mature Life Transitions 👉 Message Me!
About Section:
Please remove the “&” symbol.
Revised:
You can remove the part about your sister in this sentence because you mention it below in your sale letter as well.
Working together with my own sister, I am trained to navigate all the nuances that surround working with seniors AND get you TOP dollar for the house! 💰
Mentioned:
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. My sister and I are a powerful duo, who have found our niche and passion in advocating for seniors and their loved ones.
Call to action should be at the end after your testimonials:
➡️ Reach out to us today! When you work with us, you work with family.
^ I’d also like you to write something a bit more powerful.
If you’re READY to take the next steps and ensure your family is taken care of… message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
-
Hi @leah-volkov, definitely!
Your background image and profile photo both look great!
Your headline needs to be tweaked just a tiny bit – I fixed it for you below:
Worried About Your Aging Parents Still Living In Their Home? Need To Know Next Steps? 🌟 EXPERT Realtor Helping Seniors And Their Families Navigate Mature Life Transitions 👉 Message Me!
About Section:
Please remove the “&” symbol.
Revised:
You can remove the part about your sister in this sentence because you mention it below in your sale letter as well.
Working together with my own sister, I am trained to navigate all the nuances that surround working with seniors AND get you TOP dollar for the house! 💰
Mentioned:
You don’t have to figure this out on your own. My sister and I are a powerful duo, who have found our niche and passion in advocating for seniors and their loved ones.
Call to action should be at the end after your testimonials:
➡️ Reach out to us today! When you work with us, you work with family.
^ I’d also like you to write something a bit more powerful.
If you’re READY to take the next steps and ensure your family is taken care of… message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!
-
I completed the changes you mentioned. I had to rewrite some of it because taking me sisters mention out of the first sentence made some of the following sentences not make sense since they said We a lot. Please let me know what you think of the changes. Anything you think I should add that didn’t get mentioned?
Thanks!
-
Awesome job, @leah-volkov! Your sales letter is concise with good information! You are ready to move forward.
-
Support Forums are being phased out. You can still view the existing Forum posts but can no longer post in them. For all Support needs, please email help@coredm.com or click the blue Question Mark icon in the lower right hand corner of your screen.