Hi @becky-santarina, thank you for submitting your profile for the review! Below are my comments:

Great profile photo! Can you send it to our graphic designer and have her add a white background for you? This will really help make your photo pop.

You also need a background/banner image! I’d also like you to email our graphic designer, Lindsey, and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better.

Lindsey@coredm.com

GOOD job on your headline!! I revamped it below for you:

Want To OWN Your Own Home WITHOUT Ever Having To Worry About Paying Rent Again?☆ I Can Help You Move Into Your Dream Home!☆☞MSG Me!

About Section:

So, right now, your sales letter should be focused on your perfect client and less “I” and more “you”.

Remove “Pick me as your agent, because I am every women and I can do it all!!” because you want to first lead them into what you do, who you work with, and then WHY they should pick you!

When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important. How about you ask 3 short and POWERFUL pain point questions:

Want ____? Do you need ______? Are you READY for ______?

Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized!

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is a realtor’s profile as an example: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!

Hey there @becky-santarina!! Did you email Lindsey about your background photo? If not, please do so.

GREAT headline! It looks so much better.

About Section:

I want you to change “Make your dream a reality” to something else. Right now, that is way too big and it doesn’t immediately tell me what you help with. Here is an example of what you could say:

I help clients like YOU find your dream home (and get paid for it)!

Instead of this:

Want to discuss how First Time Buyer works, You can ask away I have made it happen!

Say:

Are you a FIRST TIME home buyer and don’t know where to start? You’re coming to the right person. I’ve been through this process hundreds of times and will make sure you’re educated along the way and getting the best deal!

Instead of:

Through the buying/selling process, you will become educated through me in an easy to understand format

Say:

I make sure you’re in the loop 100% of the way and know exactly what is going on through the home buying process!

Instead of:

Lastly if you need someone who is WELL VERSED in the ins-and outs of foreclosure and short sales, You have one! I am also knowledgeable and experienced in this field. You can talk with me!

Say:

Lastly, if you need someone who is WELL VERSED in the ins and outs of foreclosure and short sales, we will be able to work together to make sure you’re fully taken care of!

Hi @becky-santarina! WOW your background image looks awesome!!

Everything looks fantastic! Proud of you! You are good to move forward 🙂