Hey there, @curtis-stohr! Nice job taking action on your profile! Below are my comments for revision:

Your profile photo is good but looks a little blurry. Do you have a photo of higher quality? Also, I’d like you to send it to our graphic designer, Lindsey, and have her add a white background for you. THEN, I’d like you to zoom in more so we can clearly see your face 🙂

You need a BETTER background photo. What you have right now doesn’t look clean and professional. Lindsey will be able to create something better for you. Just tell her your field of business, any logos you want, and she’ll do the rest.

Lindsey@coredm.com 

Headline:

What you have written is “Financial Educator and Funding Specialist” and based on the teachings in the program, your headline is the best piece of real estate. Let’s really make it POP! Think back on your Perfect Client exercise* How about filling out this template:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞Message Me!

About Section:
What you have written doesn’t clearly lead me through your sales letter. You want to be talking directly to that Perfect Client of yours. How about you start off asking 3 pain point questions that are short and sweet. THEN, lead them into WHAT you do, WHO you work with, and HOW you can help them. Less about you, more about them.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Call to action:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!

Hi there @curtis-stohr! Let’s focus on your Curtis Stohr Jr LinkedIn for now because it has the most connections!

Nice job taking action on your profile! Did you email Lindsey about your profile photo and banner image?

Headline: your headline seems a little bit choppy. How about this:

Want To Know Your FAMILY Is Protected WITHOUT Losing Sleep Wondering If They Are Covered? ☆ I Help You Re-Gain Your FINANCIAL Security☆☞Message Me!

About Section:

What you have is good but refer back to my initial feedback. You want to be writing a sales letter that flows. I’d like you to add a bit more content. Review my initial feedback above ^^

I’m still not entirely sure what you do, who you help and how you help your clients.

You also need a better call to action at the very end of your sales letter.

Tag me once you’ve made the changes 🙂

Hi @curtis-stohr! FANTASTIC banner image and profile photo – it truly revived your page!!

YES, your headline also immediately grabbed my attention, as well.

Curtis!! Remove KENT from your about section!!

“Well Kent, How much is this going to cost? blah blah blah”

Everything else looks great 🙂