3 replies, 3 voices Last updated by James Perry 3 years, 1 month ago
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    • #47073

      James Perry
      Participant
        @jim.perry@cbselectre.com

        Hi Negreen, Please review and critique my Linked-in page.

         

        https://www.linkedin.com/in/jim-perry-a1582519/

         

        Thank you. I look forward to your input. Jim

      • #47076

        n d
        Keymaster
          @negeen@coredm.com

          Hi there @james-perry! It’s great to have you in the program with us and thank you for submitting your profile for review. Below are my comments:

          GREAT profile photo! If at any point you want to change the background color to something like white, you have access to our graphic designer, Lindsey, who can do that for you.

          Additionally, you need a banner image. Lindsey can also create something custom and amazing for you – all you’ll need to do is email her your field of work, if there’s any logos or text you want, and she will create that for you! *she has access to stock images*

          Lindsey@coredm.com

          Headline:

          Okay, good headline – just want to make it POP a bit more. ALSO – “depreciation” and “recapture” and “capital gains taxes” are bulky words – anyway we can bring it to 5th-grade level (per Kent’s lessons)? It’ll be easier for people to consume (read).

          If you like, you can just copy and paste.

          Want To Improve Your Real Estate CASH Flow In 6 Weeks WITHOUT Paying High Depreciation Recapture and Capital Gains Taxes? ☆☞MSG Me!

          About Section:

          I like your two pain point questions!! Add one more powerful one.

          Remove: Disrupt your version of the status quo, break free of everyone’s standard ideas which aren’t working. You can live life on your terms.

          Instead I want you to lead with:

          “Essentially…

          When clients like YOU work with me, you will get ___________”

          (you can tell them how you help them).

          When someone clicks to view your profile, the first 2 sentences of your profile About/summary section are available for them until they have to click “see more”. That means, your first 2 sentences are very important.

          Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized! 

          Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

          https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

          Call to action:

          LOOKS GOOD!!

          Make this changes and let me know once you have and i’ll review again 🙂

          Great work, Jim!

           

        • #47088

          Steven Rath
          Participant
            @steve@steverath.com

            Hi Jim,

            It definitely needs a nice eye-catching background.

            Regarding the headline and about sections: So, I know what your trying to say but both are confusing, twisting and technical.

            Something like. “Want to improve your real estate investment and cash flow while eliminating capital gains and high depreciation recapture?

            I will show you how to do it, in LESS than 6 weeks! CONTACT ME NOW!

            Then the same in the about section.

            Keep it simple, make it sound easy, etc, etc

            Just my thoughts and good luck,

            Steve

            • #47107

              James Perry
              Participant
                @jim.perry@cbselectre.com

                Thanks Steve. Great! I will make that change. Jim

                 

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