Hi @shaun-mccandless! It’s so great to have you in the program with us! Below is your feedback:

GREAT profile photo!! If you email it to our graphic designer, Lindsey, she can add a white background for you. This will really help brighten up your photo and make it stand out.

Your background photo is nice but it could look better. I’d also like you to email Lindsey, and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

I love the start you made on your headline! Very attention grabbing. Try to remove double emoji’s so it isn’t too distracting. Also, capitalize the first letter of every word (only for your headline) – it would look like this:

💰 Want To SAVE Money On Your Mortgage? ⛔ Lenders Told You No Because Of A Late Credit Card Payments or Past Bankruptcy 💳 Pay Your Debts Or Invest In Properties 💰 Build Your WEALTH! Message me!

About section:

You have GREAT information – I just want there to be a better flow to what you are saying so it’s not just information sitting there.

Below, I wrote out how to effectively begin your about me section – please use it and fill in the blanks I provided. This should really help you – I figured this would be a lot less confusing:

—

WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:

“I help clients like YOU _______________.”

Essentially…

I help you EACH step of the way in _________. (you can add in your bits of info here – no limit to sentences but make sure it’s not a chunky paragraph).

Yes. You read that right!

I saved a company $_______ in _ years… (example you can use – add a stat)

With my proven strategy, you will ____________.

I help YOU ______________. (here i want you to add 2-6 sentences on specific ways you help your clients)

HERES WHAT CLIENTS HAVE SAID:

(this is a good place to add 1-3 sentence testimonial IF you have one – not required)

What’s EVEN BETTER?

_________________

If this sounds like you and you are READY to _________… give me a call at _____ or shoot me a message today to see if we are the right fit!

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Shaun, that’s just a ROUGH outline. Here’s what it looks like in action –> https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

Kent’s is also a good example to look at.

I love the fact about your sweet dog! You can add that at the end after your call to action or right before it!

Play around with this and let me know when you’d like me to review it again 🙂 great work!

Hey @shaun-mccandless! This looks great – just take out “Appointments available for your busy schedule. Day or evening.” because its in the middle of your sales letter.

Good work 🙂