Hey @karen-doss! Great job posting your profile for feedback and taking action! Your feedback is below:

LOVELY profile photo!! Very professional.

I don’t like your background photo very much. It’s not very inviting. I’d like you to email Lindsey, our graphic designer, and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

You’re on the right page about your headline… but a few tiny tweaks. Try filling in this template below and copy and pasting into that slot so you get the cute icons. Think of your client’s pain points:

Want ________ WITHOUT _______?☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!

About section:

Because the first 2 sentences of your sales letter are the most important, you want the full focus on your clients, on THEM and less on you. So, remove “Some of my greatest achievements” – instead I recommend asking 3 short and sweet pain point questions.

Want ______?

Are you NEEDING ____?

What ______?

If this sounds like you… I know exactly how to help you.

Essentially…

When you work with me, _________.

//

Also, there needs to be better information and better organization to lead them effortlessly through your sales letter.

Talk about: WHO you work with, HOW you help your clients, and why they should work with you. But I recommend using more “you” than “I”.

Examples:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

401K profile

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulgennuso/

Call to action looks good 🙂

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!