Hi @ona-marr, nice job taking massive imperfect action on your profile! Below is my feedback:

Great profile photo! Can you send it to our graphic designer and have her add a white background for you?

I don’t like your background photo very much. It’s not very professional. I’d also like you to email our graphic designer and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better.

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

This needs some work. What you currently have written is “Global antii-aging specialist and Direct at Neora, LLC” and you really want to use this space to the fullest extent. How about filling out this template:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

Summary:

So, you have some good bits of information but its in on BIG chunky paragraph and it’s very hard to read.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

When it comes to your sales letter, you want to lead them through your message.

Talk about WHO you work with, WHY they should work with you, HOW you help your clients (think of pain points  – which you’ve done a good job on).

It’s really the format and adding more information to your profile.

Here is another example: 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/paulgennuso/

You also need a better call to action. How about this:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!

Hi @ona-marr! Great work taking my feedback and implementing it!

Did you email Lindsey about your banner image and profile photo??

Your new profile photo looks a lot better, but still send it to Lindsey and have her add a white background for you. Then, zoom in a bit more so we see your face clearly.

Headline:

This looks good but I fixed it up so it’s more professional looking.

Ready To  RECHARGE Your Life Without Wasting More Time?☆ Expert Coach Helping Clients Gain Financial FREEDOM☆☞MSG Me!

I revised this sentence:

I allow you to focus on sharing and mentoring INSTEAD of failing at selling…

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Your summary section is good! The more specific and detailed you are based on your clients pain points, the better your message will get across.

Good work.