Hi @mike-sears, welcome to the program – happy to provide you with feedback, below:

GREAT profile photo – please zoom in more so we can see your face clearly.

You also need a better banner image. Right now, it doesn’t pertain to your field of work and it needs to look more professional.

Please email our graphic designer, Lindsey. Tell her about your field of work and she will create something custom for you!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

You have a GOOD headline BUT based on the teachings in the program, your headline is the best piece of real estate. Let’s really make it POP! Use what you have and put it inside this template so it’s not as wordy:

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

Since you’re a financial advisor, really hone in on that in your headline. Be VERY specific and talk to your perfect client – because for a moment I was confused that you were helping someone in a neighborhood – like community support. I had no idea you were helping with retirement and finances. Do you see what I’m saying?

Summary:

Your About section is very sweet and while I loved getting to know you – your message really needs to be stronger. Keep in mind that this is a sales letter – you’ll have to really lead them through why someone should work with you, what can you provide them, who you work with, etc.

So, instead of starting off your first 2 sentences (the most important) with “Sears Group, Inc. is an independent, family-owned firm where we understand the value of honesty” — I want you to CAPTURE THEM immediately.

//

WHAT I DO IN A FEW WORDS:

I help ________________.

Essentially…

When you work with me, you get __________.

//

Or, you can start off your about section by asking 3 short and sweet pain point questions and then lead them into WHO you work with, HOW you help your clients, WHY they should work with you, and then your call to action.

If you want to educate them on you, keep it to 2 sentences MAX since this isn’t a resume. We need to keep the focus on THEM and less on you.

Also, you HAVE all the content, it just needs to be better organized! Some paragraphs are also a bit chunky – consider breaking them up.

Pro tip: go to Kent’s profile, copy his About section, and ADD your own information to it. His outline is what we teach in the program! This should really help you with removing those bullet points at the end and focusing on a powerful sales letter.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/klittlejohn/

Here is another profile example from a member in the group who used our About outline that you can use as well:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/elois-fuller-9b033723/

Call to action:

Your call to action was good UNTIL you said “Shoot me a message and lets get to know each other!” – you need to be ALPHA and in charge of the conversation (always) 😉

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions! 🙂

Hi @mike-sears! Nice job taking action. Did you fix your headline and your banner image (emailing Lindsey)?

You have a typo fell to feel — “whose core mission is to help you fell”

Everything else looks SUPER 🙂

Hey @mike-sears! Everything looks SUPER! You can keep it if you like it! Since you’re a financial advisor, I recommended you have an image that also matches that so your message gets across better. Your call!