Hi @nancy-miller, first off, good work taking action on your profile! Below is my feedback:

I like your profile photo but it would be a lot better if you were facing the camera! Do you have a shot of you facing the camera, by chance?? If not, no worries!

I don’t like your background photo very much. It’s not very inviting and the house is too cropped. I’d also like you to email our graphic designer, Lindsey, and tell her a little about your field of business and she can create something better.

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

I think your headline could be more powerful. Look below for 2 examples you could use and fill out!

Want _______ WITHOUT _______? ☆EXPERT _____ Helping Clients _____☆☞MSG Me!

or

Want Maximum PROFIT From Selling Your Home WITHOUT Stress?☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In [LOCATION]☆☞ Message Me!

Summary:

Right now, there’s a lot of “I” and “my” and too much emphasis on you and maybe not enough on them. Try replacing “I” with “you”.

The content is THERE but needs a little more excitement throughout to lead them effortlessly.

How about you start off by asking 3 powerful pain point questions and then lead them into who you work with, how you help your clients and why they should work with you.

Here is an example of a profile you can use as inspiration:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-harris-aa0487119/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

DELTE this text after your call to action:

<script type=”text/javascript” src=”https://platform.linkedin.com/badges/js/profile.js&#8221; async defer></script>
<div class=”LI-profile-badge” data-version=”v1″ data-size=”medium” data-locale=”en_US” data-type=”vertical” data-theme=”dark” data-vanity=”nancy-miller-realtym2″><a class=”LI-simple-link” href=’https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancy-miller-realtym2?trk=profile-badge’>Nancy Miller, CPM</a></div>

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Good call to action – here is another option I recommend:

If you’re ready for _______ then give me a call TODAY at _______ or message me here on LinkedIn to see if we’re a good fit!

Please tag me after you make the necessary revisions!

Hi @nancy-miller, so great speaking with you the other day! Nice job taking action on revisions, below are my comments:

Did you email our graphic designer, Lindsey, in regards to the banner image? Also, do consider a front-facing profile photo. You look GREAT but it would be helpful to add that in the future with a white background (which Lindsey can add).

Your headline is a little loud.

How about this instead:

Get Your House SOLD In The LEAST Amount Of Time Or I’ll Buy It ☆EXPERT Realtor Helping Clients In Orange County☆☞MSG Me!

Your About section is looking really nice! I love that you asked 3 pain point questions but continue to lead them through the sales letter.

After you ask those questions say:

Essentially…

When you work with me, you can feel CONFIDENT knowing that my money is behind my message.

Yep. You heard that right…

Clients that work with me have had their homes sell faster and for MORE money!

In fact, I will GUARANTEE your home sold, or I will buy it!

—

See how much better that sounds without repeating too much of the same message?

The research part can be condensed as well as the details about you.

Here’s an example of a profile I mentioned earlier: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marcustexada/

While it’s good to inform them about who you are, they really just want to know how you can help them. That’s the main focal point.

A good call to action!!

NICE WORK, overall.