Hi @wendy-strain, thank you for your patience!!

First off, GREAT job taking action on the profile accelerator – below is my feedback:

I love what you did with your profile – immediately grabbed my attention.

I’d like you to zoom in a bit more on your profile photo. I want to be able to see your smiling face clearly. Zoom in about 50% more.

Background Banner: 

Out of curiosity, I’d like you to email our graphic designer, Lindsey, tell her about your business and send her the exact quote you have written in the banner. The reason I’m asking this is that what you have is good but it’s a bit loud. I want to see if Lindsey can create a better banner that looks more polished. You and I can decide if we like it!

Lindsey@coredm.com

Headline:

LOVE what you have – I rearranged it so it becomes a pain point that you’re helping.

Are You READY To Stand Out AND Overcome ___ w/ Your Expert Business Book? ✎ Expert Ghostwriter✎  💬 MSG Me!

I’d like there to be something after overcome – because I’m wondering what you’re helping them overcome. Time? Pushing it back further?

About Me:

Your first sentence seemed like an incomplete sentence. I actually grabbed a good starter from your job description and thought it would be a great way to start your summary – something to consider:

—

Do you NEED a high-quality book in 3 months to MARKET your consulting services or coaching programs?

One that’s consistent with the storytelling throughout your brand?

Publishing quickly is essential to your success, but you DON’T need to worry about keeping up with your business’s demand for content.

Here’s How I Help YOU:

I work with laughing experts, coaches, and consultants just like you with custom-crafted pages uniquely written to your voice, your message, AND your goals…

Stand out as a Leader in your field
✑ Publish a book to highlight your knowledge & expertise
✑ Use your book to grow your business
✑ Open doors & Transform your career

(and continue with what you have written)

You can, of course, play with what I have written for you above, but I wanted to revise your first sentence because it is the most important.

** Please take out the & symbol and write out “and”**

I would keep unique interests to 2 things.

You need a call to action!!

If you’re READY for ________ message me here on LinkedIn TODAY to see if we’re a good fit!

EXCELLENT work, Wendy! Please tag me in your revision 🙂

Hi @wendy-strain, awesome work!!! Looks so much better!!

Is your infomercial uploaded to your LinkedIn profile? Let me know and i’ll take a look 🙂

• This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by n d.

Hi @wendy-strain, love the video and I love that you used a green screen!!! Great work 🙂